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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23426206">I'll Let You Live</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Formysakeamaryllis/pseuds/Formysakeamaryllis'>Formysakeamaryllis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Intense, Mentions of Rape, Multi, Some Fluff, mentions of physical abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:34:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>43,002</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23426206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Formysakeamaryllis/pseuds/Formysakeamaryllis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kitten thought life was going ok, she was getting ready to join her husband on tour but as she's getting ready one daya girl approaches her and nothing will ever be the same.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gemma Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Original Female Character(s), Liam Payne/Sophia Smith, Louis Tomlinson/Original Female Character(s), Niall Horan/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Attack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She had no idea that her husband’s fans were capable of such brutality and lack of empathy towards a person. Sure there were the fans that we're convinced her husband was in a fake relationship with his bandmate and she got hate from them but it was only ever verbal abuse. Never in a million years did she think she’d be ambushed by a bunch of girls with knives and one clear intention on their faces. It had never crossed her mind that walking around town gathering a last few things from the drug store before she flew out to see Harry tomorrow would be quite possibly the dangerous thing she’d ever do.</p><p>They’d screamed at her anything they could come up with as they abused her, knives digging words into her skin and across her chest. Kicks and knees holding her to the ground in the back alley she’d been dragged into. Kitten was pretty sure she was going to die here, in this alley at the hands of these malicious females but just as she was sure the next slit they were going to make was her throat they were off her and running as fast as they could away. Suddenly someone was asking if she was ok before approaching her, screaming and then dialing 911 discovering clearly that the girl lying bleeding on the road was in fact far from well. She passed out from blood loss not long after that.</p><p>When she woke up she was in a hospital and she wasn’t happy about it, asking doctors how long she’d been out and begging to use a phone. She’d only been out for about 3 hours but they were keeping her for observation the next few days. The cuts having apparently been deep enough to scar but not deep enough to puncture anything important, the only real bone or important thing affected had been her wrist. Apparently she’d snapped it in the struggle to get away and they’d had to do surgery to set it and cast it. Yet Kitten’s only concern was trying to figure out what excuse she was going to give harry as to why she’d be four days late arriving when she was supposed to be there tomorrow morning for one of their big shows in California.</p><p>She’d asked the doctors if they’d let her go earlier than that and they’d looked at her like she’d grown another head. Explaining to her yet again that the words cut into her body had been deep enough to drain a significant amount of blood out of her and they needed to make sure the wounds were clean and healing, and she’d had enough antibiotic to keep from an infection. That she could risk bleeding out and dying horribly from some kind of infection, clearly that wasn’t something kitten wanted. So she’d backed off and sighed.</p><p>Calling Harry and telling him she’d be late was horrible, she felt sick doing it. Telling him that something came up with her friend Melody (After already checking that Melody would go along with her story, thank god for good friends.) and that she was going to be in the hospital for the next three or four days. Telling him, as she cried, that she needed to be here because it was serious. He’d asked if he needed to fly out, she’d told him no guilt and tears choking her. He’d said he loved her and promised he wasn’t angry or upset just a little sad and he was going to miss her.It destroyed her a little bit, hearing the sadness in his tone because she couldn’t be there.</p><p>The doctors over the next few days worked around her constantly drawing blood and giving fluids and antibiotics, changing her bandages around the clock. She’d expressed a desire to know what was written on her body but the doctors said that it was best she wait until being discharged to read the words that were etched into her chest, her thigh, her stomach, her forearms, and her lower left leg. A word had been started but not finished on the right. It worried her, what was she going to tell Harry about the bandages and the pills she’d have to take. How was she going to keep this away from him. Or the others for that matter, she didn’t want to be drama or even worse be too ugly for Harry to want to be with any more.</p><p>On the fourth day as she was being discharged they had written down a list of words and their locations so that she didn’t have to take the fresh bandages off to read them herself on her body. Horrified was the only word she could come up with the words etched into her ‘beard, slut, bitch, Larry(x2), and Faker were written into her skin. These fans had been Larry fans and they’d attacked her and carved their beliefs into her skin. It made her sick, maybe Harry would ever want to look at her again after this and that thought alone had her in tears as she left the hospital, stopping at the house to pick up her bags and then picking up the prescriptions, double checking that she had the suitcase full of bandages and ointment in the back before heading to the airport.</p><p>Stepping off the plane she still had no idea what she was going to tell Harry about the bandages. Maybe she’d tell him she’d been in a fight and it was just covering some minor cuts for a little while. Her broken wrist was easy enough to come up with an excuse, she was clumsy she’d tell him she fell down the stairs in her haste to get to the hospital and see Melody. That wasn’t much progress and it wasn’t enough when she looked up looking for the driver with her sign only to see Darick the driver and Sophia standing next to him looking excited. This really was going to be the worst thing ever.</p><p>She approached them as slow as she possibly could trying to cook up an excuse as fast as she could but nothing would come out of her mouth as she stood in front of them. Sophia looked at her for a moment, taking in the bandages but she didn’t ask just yet. No she waited until they were through the photographer mess outside and safely in the car on the way to the stadium the boys were performing tonight.</p><p>“Kit? Melody isn’t the one that was in the hospital was she?” A laugh bubbled from her throat and Sophia looked extremely concerned because now wasn’t the time to be laughing.</p><p>“No, not quite. I mean I suppose she visited that counts right? not a total lie?” She questioned looking to her friend almost looking for reassurance that Melody being hospitalized wasn’t some monumental lie that was going to unravel life at the seams.</p><p>“Don’t know. What happened? Jesus why didn’t you call one of us? or at least call me and tell me so I could fly out and be with you for a few days!” Sophia reached out and set her hand on Kitten’s bandaged thigh. She bout went through the roof with the pain, the pain killers wearing off after the 8 hour flight.</p><p>“Fuck, sorry,” She sighed leaning back against the seat. “S’Bandaged there too,” pausing she tilted her head to take in the shock and pain on Sophia’s face. Well she had to tell some one who could help her cover...or at least maybe help her break it to her husband that she would be to ugly for him to ever touch again. “Look, It...I don’t even really know what happened...i mean I do but,” She grunted. “it’s really hard to say,”</p><p>“That bad?” nodding was the only confirmation Sophia received. “Car accident?” another sad laugh fell from Kitten’s lips. “Um, I’m at a loss here Kit,”She sounded so sad it made the injured girl’s heart ache a bit.</p><p>“I was attacked by rabid one direction fans,” Sophia didn’t make any noise and that wasn’t very comforting. She shifted around a bit closing her eyes so she didn’t have to look at Sophia as she gave details.</p><p>“Attacked? By Fans? What did they /do/ to you?” She wanted to laugh again but Sophia would probably try to strangle her if she did. Laughing wasn’t exactly an appropriate reaction to any of this but it was all Kitten could make her self do. It was Laugh or cry at this point.</p><p>“Mhm, Larry fans I’m assuming if the words carved into my body are any indication,” It felt kind of good to say, to admit to someone that yeah something really shit had happened.</p><p>“Words...carve?” Sophia’s sentence stopped and her eyes nearly popped out of her head, Kitten had nothing in her to comfort her with. “Holy fuck,” was all she could get out. “The bandages they all cover words? They carved words into you?!” it sounded like something made up in a twisted fan fiction by someone else. Something that came out of the movies not something that happened in real life.</p><p>“Yeah, Chest, thigh, forearms, left lower leg, and my stomach. Think they might have gone for my neck if someone hadn’t walked up on it happening,” tears burned in her eyes but she wouldn’t cry. Not now. “Broke my wrist, well in the words of the doctor I completely destroyed my wrist, blew it up into little pieces trying to fight them off. he did surgery but he wants me to check back in with in the next few weeks. He doubts I’ll ever fully get function back,” Sophia’s silence was really uncomforting at the moment.</p><p>“Why didn’t you call one of us? I would have come down. Harry would have stopped doing shows and been at your side. Kit you just went through that alone, Why do that to your self?” her chest her and she wasn’t sure if it was because the word Beard was carved into it burning into her like it could swallow her alive.</p><p>“Soph,” She started reaching up to rub at the top of the bandage with her good hand. “Ever done something, had something happen to you a surgery per say that left scars?” Sophia nodded having had her appendix out a while ago. “Remember how it felt when you first saw those scars? the ‘oh my god no one can love a body like this, with scars it’s ugly’” Suddenly Sophia seemed to click into what was being said. “it’s like that, only it’s word because instead of lines as scars I have words, words that can’t be erased that Harry’s going to have to look at for the rest of his life and the other boys too,” A tear leaked down her face and she let out a shuddering breath. “Words that I can’t make go away, no one wants a wife who has these words carved into her body Soph. Especially Harry or Louis, they won’t want to be any where near me,” Sophia told the driver to drive around the stadium again to give them a few more minutes.</p><p>“What are the words Kit?” Kitten looked at her and debated with herself. Maybe she could keep Sophia in her life. She’d be able to handle it, she hoped.</p><p>“Beard on my chest, slut on my thigh, bitch on my lower left leg, Larry(x2) one on either forearm, and Faker carved into my stomach,” She let out a small sobbing sound but it hurt the staples keeping her body in one piece. “Harry couldn’t possibly love me when he’s going to have to look at those the rest of his life. Neither could Louis, No one’s going to want me, and I couldn’t handle it. I lied because I was scared and had no idea what to do and wasn’t ready to lose Harry just yet,” she rubbed at her face trying to make the tears go away.</p><p>“Dear lord,” Sophia sounded angry and that wasn’t something Kitten had expected. She opened her eyes to look at her friend not understanding. “Those sick little fucks,” and oh, now kitten knew. “Kit, I don’t speak for anyone else even though I can almost guarantee the boys aren’t going anywhere, I’m not going to leave you because something someone did to you,” Her friend was promising her at least that much and Kitten needed that. “I don’t care what they carved into your body, I’ll help you cover it up when it heals, we’ll get tattoos over it if you’d like. I’ll do anything to help Kit but you have to tell the guys up front. I won’t leave your side though ok?”That felt like a really tall order as they pulled in front of the stadium finally.</p><p>“Ma’am what about the bags?”</p><p>”Take them to the hotel, tell the front desk they are Mrs. Styles luggage and they’ll take care of it,” She paused and then remembered “Oh, Actually I need the purple one with me but everything else can go, thank you so much sir,” She smiled as he handed her the wheely suitcase and offered her a gentle smile in response.</p><p>“I’m not going to let anything happen alright? I will protect you at all coasts kit, you are my best friend more like a sister and I won’t let anything change between us,” Sophia was affirming her statements in the car Kitten wished that made her feel 100% better but that wasn’t Harry saying those things. Or Louis for that matter. “What’s in the purple thing?” She drew Kitten’s attention away from the subject slightly as they pushed through the security doors smiling politely at a few familiar guards.</p><p>“S’ bandages, antibiotics, ointment, and something to clean the….words with. I have to change the bandage every day so,” She laughed slightly. “And the antibiotics are to keep my body from creating an infection, they taste awful going in an iv though. I can only imagine what they taste like in pill form” Sophia gave her a smile because that was definitely her Kitten peeking through this tragedy.</p><p>“Maybe we can like put honey on them make ‘em taste better,” Kitten never would understand what she did to deserve a friend such as Sophia in her life but there wasn’t a day that went by that she wasn’t thanking god for the girl.</p><p>“I suppose it couldn’t hurt to try,” She smiled gently. “Um, quick before we go in,” swallowing hard she looked to the bandages and then to her friend who had promised not to leave her. “If….If Harry can’t look at me or any of the others for that matter will you help me with like cleaning and bandaging and stuff?” Sophia wanted to hug her but quickly came to the conclusion that it would probably hurt her to do so, instead the girl leaned over and kissed her friend’s cheek.</p><p>“Of course,” At least she had Sophia and she’d keep telling herself that, hoping it would be enough to get through this Losing Harry would be a challenge Kitten wasn't prepared to feel though and it could be fatal, she didn’t know any more. Sophia gave her one last look before pulling the door open “I’m baaaaaaack” Kitten shook her head smiling at the girl honestly smiling, normalcy feeling nice in the chaos she’d been thrust into.</p><p>“Yay! You brought my wife with you didn’t you!” Harry called from where he was sitting with Liam playing Fifa on the tv in a bean bag not looking up when she stepped into the room.</p><p>“‘course I brought her dummy,” Sophia was trying her best and Kitten couldn’t thank her enough because as soon as she stepped into the room. The two who had been lounging around or watching the video game match had turned towards her and were in stunned silence. Sophia reached out for her good hand and Kitten gladly took it letting the girl lead her further into the room.</p><p>“Hi baby!” Harry shouted not looking up from the tv and Kitten would laugh in any other situation and go over and maybe hit Harry with a pillow or go sit in his lap but that all would hurt right now. It wasn’t a normal situation and it sucked she was minutes away from losing everything.</p><p>“Um, Kit?” Niall’s voice was soft and frightened and she resisted the urge to hide behind Sophia completely. As the girl was already hiding half of her body in an almost protective stance in front of the couch.</p><p>“Hi guys,” She cleared her throat trying to make it sound normal but it sounded rough to her ears and she clung a little harder to Sophia who just squeezed her hand.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. getting to know you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hi guys,” She cleared her throat trying to make it sound normal but it sounded rough to her ears and she clung a little harder to Sophia who just squeezed her hand.</p><p>“Harry, I think you need to turn around and greet your wife,” Louis’ voice was filled with confusion and extreme concern. “Like now Haz,” He urged and Kitten closed her eyes.</p><p>“What’s up?” Harry frowned pausing the game and turning around, his eyes going wide as he spotted his wife cowering behind Sophia. What he could see bandaged to an extreme, he felt sick and She looked like she didn’t feel much better than he did.</p><p>“Holy fucking shit, Kit what happened?” Liam of course would be the one to just spit out what everyone else was thinking and the girl let out a small laugh looking at her best friend. Sophia nodded at her.</p><p>“S’ok babe, not gonna let anything happen right? You and me no matter what ok?” Sophia reassured her trying to nudge her a bit.</p><p>“What? No one's going to…” Niall’s sentence trailed off and She stepped out from behind Sophia. The bandages on her arms clear with the bright pink cast on her wrist and the one on her chest showing in the deep blue v-neck she’d decided to wear. It was less painful to have clothes that were light and low cut so they didn’t put pressure on the injuries.</p><p>“You...Mel...What?” Was all her husband could get out and Sophia gave him a firm look which confused him to no end. “What happened baby? Why didn’t you tell me it was you and not Mel? You didn’t have to lie!” Sophia let out a growl at the boy and Kitten felt her chest cave a bit.</p><p>“One fucking question at a time and watch your tone,” Kitten really had no idea how Sophia was so calm. She felt like she was about to jump off a cliff.</p><p>“whoa,” Liam looked shocked and a little horrified by his wife’s angry, protective stance next to the clearly injured girl. “Alright, We’ll do one question at a time,” He promised watching as Sophia’s scowl fell a bit at the notion that it would relax. Not overwhelming Kitten.</p><p>“you can’t just do that! you can’t just walk in here with my wife whose bandaged to the nines and tell me I can’t ask more than one question at a time!” He snapped and this time it was Liam who growled because of course Liam didn’t appreciate Harry speaking to Sophia like that it was a warning and Harry stepped back acknowledging his friend. Kitten felt like she was dying he was angry, it was all over his face.</p><p>“I can and I did. Watch your fucking self, your wife or not. Clearly she’s been through a lot and doesn’t need your shit,” She let out a watery laugh at Sophia snapping at Harry again, not funny but unable to do anything else. Sophia shot a warning look out to anyone who had the reprimand on their tongue for the girl behind her laughing. She’d promised to care for the girl and that was exactly what she was going to do.</p><p>“Ok,” Niall spoke up because Harry looked beyond words. “One question,” he paused looking around the room. “What happened?” Kitten let out a strangled noise and Sophia squeezed her hand.</p><p>“I….look I get it if after I tell you this...it’s to much to be around me OK? I get it I promise” She spat out before she was able to even start explaining.</p><p>“Kit, you can’t seriously think anything could make us not want to be around you?” Louis questioned and Kitten let out as soft pained noise again looking at the boy she was so so close to knowing just how much this could change everything.</p><p>“its,” She paused. “Don’t think this is anything anyone ever thought could happen so this anything might just be too much,” She added before Sophia frowned urging her to get on with the story “I was jumped,” Sophia grunted because /that/ was an understatement.</p><p>“Jumped? Who jumped you?!”Kitten shrunk back a bit closing her eyes and trying to center her self before answering Liam’s question.</p><p>“Fans,” Stunned silence covered the room. “group of rabid Larry fans actually, guess they aren’t exactly fond of Harry Styles wife,” She shrugged and Sophia shook her head because she could see how hard this was.</p><p>“What exactly did they /do/ kitten? and why was the type of shipper fans they were matter?” Louis was a little rough but he always was when Larry was brought up. Kitten mumbled something into Sophia’s shoulder and then Sophia knew she had to continue the story. Kitten to broken to do so.</p><p>“The type of fans they were matters greatly Louis,” an anger in her voice told Louis to shut up and let her finish or she’d kill him. “Jumping her is an understatement. They ambushed her, dragged her somewhere she couldn’t be seen and carved words into her body, disgusting awful words,” Kitten could tell Sophia was crying and she really hated that it hurt the other girl.</p><p>“Blew up my wrist fighting them off or well...trying to? Think their next target was my throat but some kind gentleman walked into the alley, guess I must have been screaming?” She shrugged and Sophia practically whimpered because she hadn’t been clear where she had been and the fact that it was outside in the open was even worse.</p><p>“Why didn’t you call us? Why did you lie to Harry about it? Again, What do the fact that they were Larry fans have to do with anything?” Louis was a bit more insistent and Sophia was going to go for his throat but Kitten shook her head setting her hand on Sophia’s arm to calm her even if she felt like puking herself.</p><p>“The reason I didn’t call and I lied to Harry has to do largely with what kind of fans they were Lou,” She took a deep breath “you’re going to hate me...and I guess I have to be OK with that, “ she laughed sadly looking around the room no one else seemed to think she was funny.</p><p>“Again, spit it out?” Liam was anxious but the look Sophia gave him was deadly and he was pretty sure he never wanted to see that look on his wife's face again. His wife turned to Kitten and asked a quiet question before turning angrily back to the boys.</p><p>“Fuck you all for getting impatient,” Sophia snarled. “The words on her fucking body are the reason she didn’t call, the reason she lied. She doesn’t think Harry or Louis or any of you will want anything to do with her after you know them! Give her a fucking break!” Kitten wanted to cheer or something for Sophia standing up for her but it still felt like her world was crumbling around her.</p><p>“What did they carve into her Soph? What’s got her so convinced I’ll hate her?” Louis’ voice sounded so pained Kitten almost wanted to comfort him until she remembered what was going on. Sophia asked her quietly if she could tell and Kitten nodded.</p><p>“The important one, the one she’s freaking out the most about, right?” Kitten nodded because really she could live with the others she supposed though she doubted Harry would want to look at a woman with slut carved into her body. “They carved Larry into her forearms,” It felt like the air was suddenly sucked out of the room. “Want me to tell them the others?” Kitten shook her head.</p><p>“I can,” Her voice shook. “Beard is carved into my chest, slut on my thigh, Bitch on my lower left leg and Faker in my stomach,” Sophia offered another gentle squeeze in encouragement. “they...They didn’t carve deep enough to hit anything important, though they were like a hair's breath away from very important organs in my stomach. Unfortunately...they are deep enough that I lost a lot of blood and they will scar, big angry red scars combined with the scars from the staples holding the skin together,” She let out a bitter laugh “And My wrist is fucked, That’s the only real loss,” Sophia scolded her slightly. “Doc says I blew it up into millions of little pieces and he’d done his best to try and put t back together but he didn’t have a whole lot of hope,” She finished still feeling like puking but a little relieved she had it out there.</p><p>“You? I? into your body?” Harry seemed to be choking on every sentence he wanted to start and that wasn’t a good thing.</p><p>“Yes, into my body with knives. I’m sorry,” Louis scoffed and she wasn’t entirely sure what that meant just yet. “I get it though, if it’s too much. Like if you can’t bare to look at me because of what's carved into my skin. I get it,” She smiled sadly. “Once it heals I’ll just wear long sleeves and you’ll never know,” She tried it didn't look like it was working.</p><p>“Let me get this straight? A group of fans, Larry fans, ambushed you on the street yanked you into an alley and cut you within an inch of your life and you are apologizing? and well OK Niall had a point that sounded a bit ridiculous.</p><p>“I’m apologizing because I can’t change it I think. I’m apologizing because sorry’s all I have left. I can’t expect the two of them to look at me every day and be tortured by the name that’s practically ruined their lives etched into my skin. I can’t and don’t expect Harry to ever want to be with me again, no one wants a woman with that carved into her skin a constant reminder of what happened. I’m saying sorry because I don’t know what else to say,” When she finished the silence was deafening and Sophia gently put her arm around Kitten’s shoulder in a very light hug not wanting to hurt her. Kitten was seriously about to explode and when Harry stood up and started moving she was absolutely convinced he was headed to the door. a few steps in and she’d been proven very wrong. He was now standing in front of Sophia who Kitten had gone back to hiding behind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Apologies and Freak Outs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m not going to hurt her Soph, can I see her? Please?” His voice sounded wrecked and Kitten then convinced herself that he was coming over to take her wedding ring and demand a divorce. Sophia sighed and gave Harry one last warning look before stepping to the side so Kitten’s cowering figure was no longer hidden. It all felt so final and scary, then his hands were cupping her face and gently tilting it so they had eye contact. She felt so exposed.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” She blubbered unable to force another word out of her mouth. It wasn’t fair she couldn’t breathe and she was going to lose the man that had loved her through so much. All because his fans thought it’d be fun. Her eyes shut no longer able to look at Harry only to be surprised by the feeling of her husband’s lips gently pressed against hers. He was kissing her? That didn’t make sense. He pulled away after a moment rubbing his thumb across her lips lightly in a loving gesture.</p><p>“Shh,” His voice sounded broken and Kitten felt like this was it. This was the end. “I understand why you lied to me, you had a pretty good reason,” he laughed lightly and she cracked a smile peeking her eyes open at him. “But, Kitten,” He started and She snapped her eyes shut again, she couldn’t look at him as he left her. She wouldn’t do that. “I love you, I love you so much, loved you since we were 16 and rebellious and lost in our own heads, you and I have been through so, so much. I’m devastated that you thought a few words cruelly carved into your skin are going to make me not want you,”</p><p>“I know i’m sorry I’ll lea-wait what?” She opened her eyes and his green eyes were staring into her and it wasn’t anger at her it was sadness and compassion.</p><p>“You didn’t have control over this. You are my wife, you are the love of my life, don’t think I could breathe with out you around. Yeah, I’m a bit terrified and pissed off right now but none of thats at you. I’m so angry someone who dare call themselves a fan hurt you nearly killing you because they wanted something to be real so badly,” He shook his head brushing her lips against his again. “I might not go on stage tonight, don’t know if I can look at a group of people when I know there are people in the audience like the ones who hurt you so bad,”</p><p>“No,no don’t do that. There are so many fans that don’t though. They deserve at least tonight, you can decide what to do after tonight. But don’t cancel the show just because of me,”Harry looked at her like he absolutely couldn’t believe her and she was a bit intimidated by it.</p><p>“That, right there is one of the reasons I love you so fucking much. Even after you’ve been nearly killed by /fans/ you care so much about them. You worry and it’s a bit ridiculous but I love it. I live for it,” HEr hands were shaking as she lifted one of them to set it on one of Harry’s hands on her face. “I’m not ever going to leave you, I could never not want you. I don’t care what they’ve put on your body without your consent. I promised you forever and this isn’t going to change how I feel about you, nothing could. you could commit homicide and I’d fight for you and love you anyway,”She let out a weak laugh and leaned into his hand. “You hear me though right? I’m not going to walk away from you because of a word on your skin that you never asked for,” His thumb rubbed over her cheek.</p><p>“you say that now, you haven’t seen them though. They are ugly, I’m ugly,” She broke a bit and Sophia let out an aborted scolding noise clearly being shushed by her own boyfriend.</p><p>“Kit, I don’t think it’s possible for you to be ugly. Have you looked in a mirror lately?” Niall finally spoke up, being the only other person to talk so far besides Harry. “Don’t think a few scars are going to change that. It’s ugly what they did to you, disgusting and I’d really like to walk off stage as well but I won’t for you. You could never be made ugly by something someone's done to you” She moved Harry’s hand so she could look at him try and figure out if he was telling the truth and she was met with tear filled blue eyes of the guitarist.</p><p>“Thanks,” she mumbled quietly yelping in pain when Harry put his arms around her. He wiped his arms back looking concerned. “Sorry, it’s...they are big and take up most of my front...so it kind of hurts to be touched a bit,” the sadness that came over harry’s face had her gut clenching in discomfort. “But you can hold me from behind. Like you do in the morning when I’m cooking just be really careful where your arms rest,” His eyes lit up at that suggestion and he moved quicker than she’d ever seen. Her back was met with his chest and his hands gently sat low on her hips not pressing or touching just holding her there with feather light grip. It felt so good to feel him against her but at the moment she was really wishing he hadn’t moved.</p><p>“Are you sure those are the exact words? or did the doctor tell you those were the words?” Louis questioned and she was caught off guard by it. Pain radiating through her and she wasn’t sure if it was the accusation in his tone or the burning of the injuries.</p><p>“The doctor gave me a list. I haven’t really gotten a chance to actually look at any of them. I’ve gotten brief glances at them, well the one on my arms at least. But yes, the doctor told me those were the words,” Her voice wasn’t nearly as strong as she wanted it to be because it looked like she might be losing Louis completely.</p><p>“I want to see, for myself. What it says,” He spoke and Sophia was out of Liam’s lap like lighting and stepping in front of Kitten before Louis could get to her. Harry’s chest rumbled with a noise she wasn’t sure she’d ever heard before</p><p>“Don’t you fucking touch her, If you’re accusing her of lying I’m going to murder you. I’m going to get Preston and Paul and I will kill you,” Sophia threatened and Kitten smiled slightly shaking her head because Sophia threatening any one was a bit hard to believe but she was dangerous when she wanted to be.</p><p>“No,” Sophia looked at her surprised. “He’s right, he deserves to be able to see it for himself, the word kind of involves him. He’s got some right to it?” She questioned and the look Sophia was giving her and the way Harry had tensed told her that probably wasn’t the case but they weren’t going to fight her on it. “I should probably change that bandage anyway, think I spilled something on it on the plane,” She mumbled “Soph can you get my suitcase, Harry can you help me sit down?” The pace they were moving at made Kitten dizzy with affection and well just dizzy in general. This was all very exhausting.</p><p>“Are you absolutely sure about this baby?” Harry asked as he grabbed her upper arms and helped ease her down on the couch frowning a bit as she hissed and her eyes welled up with tears in pain. The tight jeans she was wearing was not helping either wound on her leg, he was going to have to convince her to take those off soon</p><p>“Mhm, he needs to see,” She paused and looked down at her arm swallowing hard “Maybe the Dr was wrong? Maybe it says loser and just looks like something else,” She didnt believe the shit she was spitting but it was something she’d tell her self to justify Louis asking to see it. Harry moved next to her on the couch watching Louis perched at the edge ready to jump at his bandmate. Niall was sitting on the edge of the table anger on his face as well at his bandmate for even asking.</p><p>“Yeah,” Niall mumbled and she knew he didn’t believe her either that it was wrong. Clearly he didn’t need to see the wounds to believe her like some people. LIam having yet to say or do anything.Kitten took a deep breath as Sophia opened the suitcase and got out the bandages and such that she would need for her arm.</p><p>“ngh,” She whimpered as she tugged on the bandage it was at an odd angle and it was difficult for her. To her surprise it was Niall’s hands that were on her arm his eyes asking if he could help her. “please?”</p><p>“Of course,” He smiled at her before beginning to tug at the bandage looking up at Kitten to make sure it was ok. A sick feeling settled in his stomach as he peeled the bandage off. It was red and angry and there were staples lots of staples holding it all shut. Of course it read exactly what she’d been told it did.</p><p>“Let me see it,” Louis demanded and Harry snarled at the demand and Niall just laughed angry at his bandmate before gently moving out of the way holding her arms still so that Louis could look as he reached to Sophia for the new material. Kitten looked down and she knew what it said, it still made her sick to look at it. She slapped her casted hand over her mouth and forced her stomach back down where it belonged. Harry’s strong hand coming to run up and down. She closed her eyes trying to draw in a deep breath until she felt fingers too close to the staple.</p><p>“no!”she squealed for lack of a better term trying to move her hand quickly away from Louis’ hand. His hand sort of froze where it was when she had shouted at him but before he could move again there were hands on his elbows, strong hands that he had no change against. Liam was holding his arms at his side. “Don't, please. It could get infected and I'm working really hard not to let that happen. They have a really good chance of getting infected if I don’t do exactly what the doctor told me. I didn’t mean to yell, i just..I don’t want to die from an infection,” She mumbled in explanation.</p><p>“You don’t need to explain yourself,” Liam’s voice was finally making words and it felt a bit comforting to know that she hadn’t caused him to go mute. “He shouldn’t have even fucking moved towards it. It fucking says what she said it said, is that enough fucking proof for you?!” Liam was the most angry at the moment as he yanked Louis away shoving him away from where Niall was working very gently to put the bandage back on as quick as he could.</p><p>“Back the fuck off Liam! I had a right to fucking see it!” Louis argued and no one really saw what came next happening. Liam lunged at Louis pinning him to the wall by the neck of his shirt.</p><p>“No, you didn’t have any fucking right! It’s her fucking body! Haven’t enough people violated her or is that not /enough/ for you,” He snarled and Sophia looked to Kitten before moving away and gently setting her hands on Liam’s biceps.</p><p>“Baby, come on. You don’t want to hurt him,” She encouraged and Louis looked a little frightened but mostly indifferent to Liam’s grip. “Li, come on sweetie. I know you’re mad. We all are but pounding Louis into the wall isn’t going to make /anything/ better,” She urged But Liam wasn’t moving or letting up at all.</p><p>“I didn’t fucking violate her! I asked to see a fucking name in her wrist! A name that has to do with me! Something I’ve been dealing with since xfactor! Now I have to figure out how to deal with /that/ being on her fucking body!” He snapped and Louis really wasn’t helping his case at the moment. Those who knew Louis knew he was blaming himself for what had happened. Alot of the time he felt like he built it and teased a bit too much in the beginning to cause the cult following Larry had. He wasn’t angry with Kitten, he was angry at himself, he felt responsible but that wasn’t what was coming across and Liam looked like he might actually murder Louis.</p><p>“Liam,” She called after Niall had finished bandaging her arm, Harry helped her up. She moved as fast as she could (not very fast) to the scene standing on the side of Liam pinning Louis to the wall his face beat red. “Li, it’s ok. It’s alright, He didn’t mean anything by it ok? This is how he deals with stuff, please, don’t break his face,” she begged and that seemed to have Liam loosening his grip on Louis a bit and the boy on the wall seemed to look pleased and Sophia shot him a look.</p><p>“Shut up, help yourself and just shut up. Blaming yourself or not, acting like this is fucking dumb and inappropriate,” Sophia growled and Louis looked like he’d just been slapped, he’d been called out on the emotions he was trying to hide. Kitten sighed softly setting a hand on Liam’s arms.</p><p>“I know you’re angry, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should have waited to come out and I’m really sorry for that. This is the last thing you guys need and I’m just really sorry,” She could feel the tears start down her face without her permission. She sniffled trying to force them back but that just hurt her chest. Liam dropped Liam so fast that Louis fell to the floor instead of catching himself on his feet, turning to look at Kitten. His eyes wild with everything he was feeling and boy did she understand that</p><p>“No,no.” He shook his head. “Fuck, no. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I just, I think we are all going to be a bit protective yeah?” Liam tried to smile and she appreciated the effort. “And I’m mad as hell but Soph’s right. it’s not at him and pounding his face into the wall won’t help. I want to protect you no more than ever and at that second he was a threat I could defend you against,” Kitten smiled slightly sniffling and rubbing at her nose trying not to groan. She needed her pain meds.</p><p>“I love you for that and if it wasn’t you that pinned him to the wall it would have been Harry but he was worried about getting up too fast and hurting me or Niall but he was distracted being as tender as he could to put the new dressing on.” She really just wanted to lay down right now preferably right up in Harry’s arms but that would be painful. Louis seemed to pick up on her sudden need to lay down but he looked like he wasn’t sure he wanted to say anything.</p><p>“Maybe we should lay her down? Her body has to be stressed and that can’t be good for the cuts. We don’t want like the blood to rush to area’s it shouldn’t be or have her faint,” Sophia spoke up before Louis could and he huffed a bit. Of course he felt awful about this whole thing but he was a bit lost at how to deal with his feelings.</p><p>“Guys?” Paul their tour manager was knocking on the door looking around the room at the chaos not surprised by the general distress of the room but shocked at the bandaged girl being lead to the couch and layed down, her head propped up. He’d gotten word that something had happened by the security guards out front who had seen her. This wasn’t what he’d expected to find, ten minutes before they were due on stage.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Concert</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hold on a minute,”Harry called out, his hands struggling to sit on an area of her body that didn’t hurt. She cried out and tried desperately to adjust her body so it wasn’t throbbing everywhere. “Shh, I know baby. I’m so sorry,” He mumbled “Pain killers?” he blurted looking towards the purple suitcase. “She has to have been given painkillers. Get them,” Louis moved to look through the case before handing a bottle to Harry looking a bit sheepish “When’d you last take one baby? Says you can have two every 6 hours,” She cringed because right now breathing hurt.</p><p>“Mm, before I got on the plane. They wouldn’t let me take one on the plane and I didn’t when I was in the car with Soph and then i got distracted and fuck it hurts,” She managed out closing her eyes as tight as she could begging the pain to stop or at least let up.</p><p>“you’re like 4 or 5 hours past due,” Harry frowned and she stuck her tongue out like that was a reasonable response to the situation. “Here baby,” he put the two pills in her hand and uncapped a water bottle helping her out as she swallowed them and settled back against the couch. He brushed his fingers through her hair. “You’ll feel better in a few minutes,” Pressing a kiss to her forehead he turned his attention back to Paul who was standing in the door.</p><p>“Alright, I do need to know what happened but we don’t exactly have time for that. You are due onstage in like five minutes,” Paul really hated to pull them away from Kitten at a time like this where she clearly needed the boys. Harry let out a noise of protest because she was just starting to calm down and relax.</p><p>“I’ll take care of her Hazza, we’ll watch the concert from the monitor. She’ll probably fall asleep, hopefully. Needs some rest,” Sophia sounded like her mother and all she could offer was a middle finger as response because yeah she was starting to drift off in and out of sleep with the pain medication kicking in. “Love you too,” Soph teased.</p><p>“Make that two minutes,”Paul sighed looking at his watch, they couldn’t be late on stage /again/ tonight even though it looked like they might have a good reason this time.</p><p>“I want extra security outside the door,” Liam announced, grabbing Harry and pulling him away from his wife knowing the boy was never going to leave if someone didn’t physically remove him.</p><p>“What? liam we are spread thin as it is,” Paul tried to remind him but the look on liam’s face suggested that he wasn’t in the mood to care about being spread thing.</p><p>“Three fucking people outside that door or I’m not going on that stage,” the bandmate ordered challenging his manager to argue with him.</p><p>“Alright fine! Anything else?” He asked sarcastically which in reality he probably shouldn’t have even asked especially when he wasn’t really interested in something else being said. He just really wanted them on stage.</p><p>“Yeah, no one comes in or out of this room but Sophia and us,” Harry looked back at her and she had her eyes closed lying in an odd position but as long as it didn’t hurt that was what he cared about.</p><p>“I don’t have time for this!” the manager argued. “Fine whatever! let’s go!” He knew he should probably figure out what was going on with Kitten but he didn’t have time and he really didn’t want another semi riot because the boys were late. The four boys glared at him as the passed him, taking the mics and heading out to the stage. He looked back at Sophia and kitten before closing the door he’d deal with this later.</p><p>It was about four maybe five songs in and Harry was seeing red everywhere he turned. The word Larry written on almost every poster. Some sick mention of Louis and Harry being a couple and He wasn’t sure he could stand on this stage and continue to sing with all the flags out there with Larry context written in them. None of them were enjoying this show and that was clear but Harry just couldn’t do it. He knew Kitten had asked him to, begged him to really but he just couldn’t. They were mid song when Harry shook his head and moved his mic away from his mouth and stepped back away from the mic stand.</p><p>“Haz?” Liam immediately stopped the song, able to see the fury on Harry’s face and yeah he knew what he was feeling. Louis was practically vibrating with anger on the other end of the stage with Niall between him and Liam a scowl permanently on his face as well.</p><p>“I won’t do it Liam, I can’t do it,” Harry announced standing back at the microphone looking at his bandmates and then into the crowd. “Knowing what they’ve done to my wife, I can’t stand here and look at signs with the /words/” He stressed not exactly want to give away what had happened little did he know apparently the girls had been proud of themselves and bragged about it quite a bit online and had made mentions about doing it Nothing was done about it and still not being done about it even though there was a youtube video of the girls discussing what they’d done and how happy they were about it.</p><p>“Haz, she asked us to do this. I’m as pissed off as you are but she wants this yeah?” LIam tried but Harry shook his head looking ready to kick something when he saw a sign that had a picture of Larry cut into an arm and yeah he was going to throw up. Whether he was really seeing it or just imagining it. He was going to throw up.</p><p>“No, He’s right,” Louis spoke up looking around at the signs. “Are you lot fucking proud of yourselves?” He spat and Liam knew there was no turning back now. “Those signs are you fucking proud of what you’ve written? Kitten’s a bitch or a slut, Larry is real, down with Kitten. Are you absolutely fucking kidding me?” He was practically breathing fire and Liam looked over realizing that yeah, people had brought hate posters about Kitten to the fucking show. Some about Sophia too which drove him fucking crazy.</p><p>“Louis, look over there and tell me if what I saw was real. I can’t stomach looking back over,” Louis looked confused for a moment stepping over to Harry’s side of the stage, his whole body going cold. Nope, Harry hadn't imagined the gruesome picture in the crowd. There was no way to know if it was actually Kitten’s arm and Louis couldn’t look at it long enough to figure it out but it was sick</p><p>“Where did you get that and on what planet do you think that’s appropriate,” Liam’s voice was harsh as his vision practically blacked out from anger. The fan shouted ‘online, there’s tons of ‘em !’ She sounded so proud and Liam really might dive off the stage. “Tons of them? People DO that to themselves and think it’s alright!?” he shouted and the girl shook her head ‘it’s just a picture, no one knows if it’s real or not,” She shouted back at him.</p><p>“Where did you find that exact picture and what was the context in the picture,” Niall’s voice was fairly steady which was frightening in and of itself. A guard brought the girl closer and took her picture quickly balling it up.</p><p>“Uh, on twitter. It’s trending I showing the hashtag KittensaLarry but I don’t think it’s like a real photo or anything, I just was showing dedication to the truth,”Louis went to jump off the stage at the fan and it was Liam who caught him before he could.</p><p>“Is that the only one?” Niall still calm as ever looked at the fan pointedly. Knowing that there were ways they could get those pictures down if they knew what they were dealing with.</p><p>“Mhm, S’the only one the girls who say it’s kitten’s arm have. according to the tweet,” The fan shrugged feeling properly humiliated but no one on that stage cared. Harry was going to puke and he didn’t want this discussion out here. He wanted that fan backstage in handcuffs or something!</p><p>“By show of hands how many of you have seen, retweeted or for fucks sake Printed off that picture?” Harry closed his eyes and Nial scanned the crowd there were a lot of hands up and that was when he decided he was done. “I’m done Liam,” He took his microphone off his head and set his guitar down on the stage. “and I don’t think I’ll come back,” he motioned to the hands in the audience shaking his head.</p><p>“You fucking disgusting people!” Louis was seething and he was a bit too close to the microphone. “How dare you! You and your fucking cult beliefs are hideous and stupid! Larry /doesn’t/ exist! It never fucking has! you fucking delusional idiots! The things you are willing to do are horrid and disgusting and I fucking hate you,” He snarled and Liam couldn’t say much in rebuttal because really he was right. Harry just kept his eyes closed.</p><p>“You know, I thought I was doing a good thing by supporting the lgbt community freely and openly. I thought I was making it clear that I would support a fan no matter what the preference. Never in a million years did I think you sick fucking Larry fans would go so far as you have, never in a million years could I have imagined the violence you’ve done unto my wife,” He kept his eyes shut refusing to open them. “I can’t believe that you took something I was doing for the general good and made it about something that /doesn’t/ exist. that never /has/ and you all were so ok with a fucking picture like that being out. Kitten isn’t a ‘larry’ Kitten has never been one she will never be one. The name carved into her fucking arm or not. It doesn’t fucking exist and because of the violence you’ve caused, I won’t be stepping back on this stage for a very long time, if ever,” He backed away from the mic and turned around heading back to backstage nodding for Liam to follow with Louis still trapped in his arms.</p><p>“Preston, bring the fan back. We need to ask her some more questions about that picture,” Niall leaned into a microphone and the bodyguard nodded immediately, grabbing the girl up and with that the boys were off stage. It took them a few minutes to get back to Kitten and Sophia, Paul following after them vowing to kill them for what they’d done out there without /warning/ him something was even going on! Stepping back into the room Kitten was staring at the monitor with a blank look on her face like she wasn’t sure what to feel and Sophia had to leave the room to throw up at the idea of there being photos of her arm on the internet and that people were proud of that.</p><p>“Where’s soph?” Liam asked worried because no one was supposed to go in and out of the room and he didn’t see his wife anywhere.</p><p>“Throwing up,” She mumbled her pain medication making her speech slurred a bit. Liam nodded rushing a thank you out to Kitten before jogging into the bathroom to comfort his wife. Harry settled himself on the floor next to Kitten’s head reaching up to push her hair back ignoring the fuming Paul in the doorway “s’there really pictures of my arm on twitter?” Harry frowned the urge to throw up himself back in his throat.</p><p>“I don’t know for sure yet babe,” He let his fingers continue to push through her hair doing his best to comfort her as her face twisted into several emotions before curling up in an odd expression he’d never seen before. It would be comical if the topic was less serious.</p><p>“S’gross,” She mumbled, pushing her head up into Harry’s touch. “People are really messed up,” slurring wasn’t enough to make her words inaudible thank god. “S’gross, make them take it down, don’t want my arm plastered all over the internet for the sick children in your fandom to view and jack off to,” Harry did laugh a little bit at the vulgar statement she’d spit at the end.</p><p>“Working on it, Preston's got the fan in another room right now. Niall went to make sure the right questions were asked because apparently I can’t be trusted not to commit homicide,” Louis huffed and Harry nearly melted at the sound of the giggle that fell from Kitten’s lips. It felt so good to hear that sound out of her mouth even though her body wasn’t hers right now she was still there.</p><p>“Great, we’ve pulled a fan from the crowd. We’ve got you spitting insults at the fans left and right. Harry declaring he’s disgusted with half the fandom and Liam clearly upset with the fans, Niall being the only one who didn’t alienate half the fanbase out there! Now will someone explain what the hell just /happened/ So I can start damage control?!” He shouted and really that was the wrong move. Harry was clenching his fist at his side, the only reason he stayed sitting was because Kitten was going back to sleep under the constant comfort of his hands in her hair like he’s done for so long. Louis however was a loose canon who apparently had very little self control but thank god Liam had some kind of sixth sense for stupid choices Louis made and darted out of the bathroom to catch Louis before he barrelled into Paul fist blazing.</p><p>“Down boy, while he is yelling is pretty much the opposite of what he needs to be doing, he doesn’t know what's going on. You gotta breathe Louis, he didn’t do it,” Liam attempted to sooth his friend but Louis didn’t seem to be buying it but settled a bit.</p><p>“Some one start explaining,” Paul groaned, not really wanting to spend more time arguing with them before he started damage control.</p><p>“The police are getting involved, apparently the girls that jumped her made a video describing their attack before and after it happened and then posted the photo of her arm. The police say they couldn’t have acted before something happened which is complete bullshit but whatever. That fan is being let go obviously can’t charge her with anything other than being a disgusting human being,” Niall announced walking into the room and Harry felt his heart sink. “and apparently they decided to get it trending on twitter. I’m not ever looking at another fan again I swear,” He mumbled walking over to sit next to Harry so he could at least be near Kitten to comfort himself.</p><p>“Alright, Look” Paul pinched the bridge of his nose calming down significantly because it was clear something really awful had happened and the evidence was under those bandages. “I need to know what's going on, All I know right now is that the Larry side of the fandom is out of control and some picture of Kitten’s arm is circling the internet. and apparently as Niall just announced that kitten was jumped. I need details here boys,”he begged and at the change of his tone Louis relaxed a bit but was still ready to fight at any second.</p><p>“The picture that the fan had of the word Larry cut into an arm?” Paul nodded feeling sick at the thought of it, he had children imaging one of them doing that to themselves was nauseating. “The one she claimed wasn’t real?” He was starting to feel even sicker as Harry went on. “It is, it’s extremely real. That’s really her arm bleeding out the letters of Larry in that picture,” and well now Paul understood a lot more than he had a few minutes ago.</p><p>“Oh dear god,” He rubbed his forehead looking at the girl on the couch noticing there was quite more than just a bandage on her wrist. Her thigh and Leg bandages now on display because Sophia had convinced her to change into a pair of pajama pants that hardly covered Kitten’s butt, but they wouldn’t touch her wounds so it would feel better.Tell me those bandages are covering that word all over her body? Please dear god tell me someone wasn’t that cruel?” He was an adult and he was begging these young adults to tell him what he probably knew was true.</p><p>“No, not that one. that’s carved in both her forearms.” Paul let out a breath like it was a relief before realizing that wasn’t a very clear answer. “ They decided to be creative with their words,” Louis laughed out bitterly. “Because apparently bitch,slut,faker,and Beard are creative and artistic to carve into someone's body,”Alright that was the last thing Paul wanted to hear.</p><p>“holy shit,” he let out a breath he had been holding to keep his lunch down at this point. “dear god. I don’t...I don’t even know what to say, though I’m very sorry for snapping, I understand completely now,” He admitted looking at the small girl on the couch and the young girl stepping out of the bathroom wiping her mouth. “Getting you guys out of here is going to be tricky and take awhile, I don’t want any risk of further injury to Kitten or new injury to Sophia or any of you. you’re going to have to sit tight for a few hours,” He paused “While you’re sitting here I think you need to talk about what you’re doing from here on out, I’d like to put out a formal statement that doesn’t include the words fucking delusional,” He nodded towards louis</p><p>“S’true though!” He argued and Paul just rolled his eyes and nodded it was true but that didn’t sound good in an official statement to the world now did it?</p><p>“It is, I get that” He shrugged “But you guys have to decide what you’re doing as a band, what you want to say, how much of the truth you want out there or how much of this you want to just go away,” Harry grunted, He wanted all of it to go away his wife’s pain included but that wasn’t going to happen “Talk, write out what you’re thinking, I’ll be back in a few hours to get you guys out of here safely,” They all looked at each other and then to the girl on the couch as Paul stepped out of the room.</p><p>“He’s right, we have to give an official statement. Which means we have to figure out what we are doing,” Liam tapped his fingers against the table he was sitting on the floor next to, opening his arms inviting Sophia into them. Kitten hummed quietly not really paying much attention to the conversation any more, the pain killer having kicked fully in by now. Mostly meaning that her thoughts were blurred and her movements slow, it was an easy place to be for now.</p><p>“What /are/ we going to do? Are we canceling this tour completely? Are we just canceling a few months of dates? Are we going to release our next album? Are we going to be willing to do fan events? There’s a lot of questions, how are we supposed to answer them all right now?!” Louis tugged at his hair, Harry glared at the bandages covering his wife’s chest. The stapled together skin that the fans had caused.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. mob</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I don’t,” He paused trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say to his bandmates. “I can’t look at fans right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at a fan again to be honest,” sucking in a deep breath trying to not cry in his frustration.</p><p>“You know, It wasn’t all of them that did it Harry, it was an isolated group of girls,” Liam was trying to reason with him and Harry didn’t understand why. Hadn’t his bandmate seen the signs outside in the stadium, the hate, the blatant violence clear in pictures across the stadium?</p><p>“Yes, an isolated group of girls did this to her Liam. I understand that completely and I’m sure Harry does as well,” Niall’s hands were balled up his blunt fingernails digging into his skin as an attempt to keep his cool. “But hundreds and thousands of them participated in the spreading of the violence, the encouragement of it. It’s still trending on twitter, tomorrow it’ll be all over the news. You saw all those girls holding signs with hate towards Kit and Sophia. Don’t be daft just in the sake of being the most mature one in the room,” Harry looked towards Niall and offered a weak smile. None of this felt good and Harry had wanted to sing for the rest of his life until a few hours ago when his wife came in with words carved into her skin from the people that had gotten him where he was.</p><p>“But again, we can’t punish everyone just because some of them don’t know how to be decent human beings. We can take a few months off and go back to it,” Liam tried but the look Louis shot him from the wall he was leaning against was deadly.</p><p>“What do you need to understand the severity of the situation Liam? You want to wait around until rabid fans get a hold of Sophia and cut her into pieces as well? You’re willing to risk that just because you don’t want to ‘punish’ innocent fans. You saw the signs, Kitten hate sure but Sophia’s name is in there and you damn well know it,” He hissed and Liam shrunk back almost immediately at the images suddenly assaulting his head. “What makes you think they’ll stop with Kitten? What makes you think they won’t go back after Kitten again, maybe go for both the girls at once? Is that what you need to see happen in order for you to fucking get it?!” Harry cringed his fingers pausing in Kitten’s hair. The idea of this happening to yet another one of the girls almost too overwhelming for him to bare. It hurt enough that he hadn’t been able to protect his wife.</p><p>“Li,” Sophia was shaking a bit she’d gotten up from his lap and was pacing around the room clearly at unease. “He’s right,” She turned towards her husband and then towards her bandaged up friend. “This was out of control the minute they laid hands on her and I'm next and you know it,” snapping her eyes shut and trying to breathe around the bile forcing it’s way back up her throat. “You want to continue to get up on that stage, or do fan events that require you leave me vulnerable. Set us all up for god knows what. Think about this,” Soft hands were on her arms but they weren’t her husband's.</p><p>“It’s ok Soph, I’m not going to let it happen to you. No matter what your husband seems to be thinking. I’m not doing it. I won’t risk your life or hers any more and I refuse to encourage those who did it by continuing with what we are doing and practically ignoring the situation until it goes away,” Harry looked a bit crazed as he tugged Sophia into a gentle hug, his arms shaking around her but he meant every word. He wouldn’t do it. He didn’t have it in him.</p><p>“If you want to continue,” Niall grunted. “Then fine, do as you wish but you’ll do so without me,” Louis snarled.</p><p>“Or me” Niall spoke up giving Liam the best intimidating look he could. It wasn’t working very well. Niall’s angry face (as he’s been told) comes off more as a kicked puppy look than anger.</p><p>“Or me” Harry’s arms held Sophia rocking her slightly the image of the fans getting to her revealing in his head. He knew if the fans did something to Sophia, just what would happen to Kitten’s mental state. She prided herself so much on taking care of Sophia, keeping her safe.</p><p>“And I’m not safe any more Li. I’m not and I’m scared. I’d really rather have my husband next to me reassuring me than a bunch of security guards who are only being paid to be there. Sure we’ll need extra protection, all of us will but don’t take my husband away from me right now,”Pushing Harry away from her after one last squeeze to reassure him she was alright for the time being. Liam had his knees pulled to his chest, his head buried in them. Bless his soul, he forever wanted the best in people. Wanted to believe no one could possibly be evil enough to enjoy any of this. The truth was terrifying right now and they weren’t safe.</p><p>“Ok,” He pulled his head from his legs looking over at the girl who was asleep on the couch propped up oddly with her hand resting on what seemed to be the only bit of skin between her stomach and chest that didn’t have a cut on it. “I’m sorry, You guys are right. It’s just hard, to think that people could...be ok with this and I hate hurting people. Even if they deserve it,” Laying back against the floor unable to look around the room at his friends any more. But no one seemed angry with him just tired. This whole situation was exhausting.</p><p>“Alright so onto press conference and official statements,”Harry sat back down on the floor by Kitten’s head wanting so bad to reach out and pull her close to his body. It killed him that one of the only ways he knew to comfort hurt would hurt her so much physically. He loved her to much to put his selfish needs of holding her on her. “When are we going to hold the conference?”</p><p>“I think the sooner the better. Get it out there, clearly there is other things we’ll have to do even after a press conference. Like interviews with big tv stations and fighting what’s going to be a very public legal battled against a group of fans.” Louis nodded clearly agreeing with Niall, though they wished the battle wouldn’t be so public or troublesome as they knew it was going to be.</p><p>“Want the girls sitting with us at the conference, no question about that. Security needs to be intensified, I don’t care what it cost. Anything to keep them safe,” Harry mumbled setting his head down next to his sleeping wife’s needing to be close to her in any way possible at the moment.</p><p>“This is going to be a huge mess, we all know that right?” a frown had practically imbed itself on Liam’s face. “People are going to react in a million different ways and we are going to be held under a microscope. Paparazzi is going to be out of control until things settle, and Kitten’s going to be tore to shreds on social media and in some news outlets even.” He paused rubbing the back of his neck to gather himself again. “All of us in this room need to promise to stick this all out together, we do this as a family. No one gets up and goes their own way, we live in the same house and fight this together like the family we are,” The firmness he’d been looking for in his voice earlier seemed to have returned. He could practically hear the others scoffing as if he’d said something that was common knowledge.</p><p>“Absolutely, no one’s going to pull a Zayn. No one in this room are going to leave. We are a family Liam, you are 100% right and Families fight together,” Louis smiled tossing a balled up sock (which he’d gotten off his own foot) at his friend’s head lightening things up slightly.</p><p>“Nasty!” Liam groaned throwing the sock off his face and sitting up glaring at his mate before a smile broke out on his face unable to stop it.</p><p>“Speaking of families,” Harry was breaking into their fun, though right now he had every right to ruin their fun all he wanted. “We need to notify them of what's going on before they see it somewhere like twitter or the news,” And well no one had thought about notifying families yet and they probably needed to get on that.</p><p>“I think as soon as we are safe in the hotel room for the night, we’ll all make phone calls. Haz, I’ll call Des if you call your mum,” Louis offered knowing that having two sets of parents to notify could be a bit of work but Harry’s family needed to know most and the younger lad was more than grateful for his help.</p><p>“Thanks,” The room fell into silence after that. Kitten sleeping somewhat peacefully on the couch whimpering every now and then, Liam and Sophia holding each other as tight as possible, Louis and Liam both busy on their phones, making calls and preparations for their conference, and Harry who didn’t move from his spot on the couch and didn’t close his eyes, just watched his wife sleep. About an hour after the silence fell there was a knock on the Door and everyone's eyes whipped towards it. Sighing in relief when Paul walked through several guards behind him.</p><p>“Time to move out. It’s still crazy loud but the city sent out every officer they could to maintain the crowd so they are pushed back as far as we can get them. We need to move quickly through,” They didn’t waste a second in collecting the things they needed from backstage. Things such as Kitten’s suitcase of medical things and the backpack the boys always brought with them to the stadium.</p><p>“Kitten, baby?” There was a voice in her ear and she groand reaching to swat at it only to be reminded that sudden movements were her enemy. “I know I’m so sorry,” oh it was her husband’s voice. “We’ve gotta get up and get out. The car’s here, I can carry you?”He was always so sweet, she wasn’t sure she could handle him carrying her though fearing that it might be a bit painful to have her body in someone else's hands.</p><p>“Mmm, I’m getting up. Help me,” she mumbled blinking the blur from the drug induced sleep out of her eyes trying her best to come to enough to walk. Harry’s hands were on her and gently guiding her until she was standing worry clear in every move he made. Glancing around the room, reassuring herself that she was safe and that so was everyone else.</p><p>“Niall first, Harry and Kitten, Sophia and Liam, then Louis are you able to handle the back?” He sounded all business and she was a bit anxious at the idea of being out in the open with fans eyes on her right now.</p><p>“Sounds good,” Louis confirmed slinging his backpack over his shoulders handing Niall the bandage suit case.</p><p>“Everyone stay close to each other. Hold on and whatever you do, do not stop moving,” Change anxious to completely terrified at the weight of the words falling from Paul’s lips hit her. Sure, she’d been in situations like this before. An insane crowd gathered outside happy and looking to meet the boys after their concert. This was different, those fans were angry their show had been canceled and a large amount of them could be firmly against Kitten for causing this.</p><p>She was insistent that she walk wanting to avoid as much pain as she could but as they got closer to the door, her panic was making it too hard to breathe. The fear circling around her throat like a rope, tightening with every step she took. Niall looked like he might puke as the door was opened and screaming met their ears.</p><p>“Pick me up. Please. I don’t care if it hurts Harry pick me up,” She sobbed. Boy did it hurt as he slipped his arms under her knees and the other behind her back, bridal style. She was bent at all the wrong angles putting pressure in the wrong places but at the same time she didn’t care, trying to make herself as small as she could against her husband.</p><p>“Move, move, move,” Was the only direction she understood as they stepped out into a million of fans who ranged in pissed off and worried. No clear indication what was what or who was who, none of them were safe. She covered her face as flashes went off trying to just get a picture of her and Harry or maybe just her.Again she just wasn’t sure about anything right now, well except for the throbbing in her body.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Little Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What /are/ we going to do? Are we canceling this tour completely? Are we just canceling a few months of dates? Are we going to release our next album? Are we going to be willing to do fan events? There’s a lot of questions, how are we supposed to answer them all right now?!” Louis tugged at his hair, Harry glared at the bandages covering his wife’s chest. The stapled together skin that the fans had caused.</p><p>“I don’t,” He paused trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say to his bandmates. “I can’t look at fans right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at a fan again to be honest,” sucking in a deep breath trying to not cry in his frustration.</p><p>“You know, It wasn’t all of them that did it Harry, it was an isolated group of girls,” Liam was trying to reason with him and Harry didn’t understand why. Hadn’t his bandmate seen the signs outside in the stadium, the hate, the blatant violence clear in pictures across the stadium?</p><p>“Yes, an isolated group of girls did this to her Liam. I understand that completely and I’m sure Harry does as well,” Niall’s hands were balled up his blunt fingernails digging into his skin as an attempt to keep his cool. “But hundreds and thousands of them participated in the spreading of the violence, the encouragement of it. It’s still trending on twitter, tomorrow it’ll be all over the news. You saw all those girls holding signs with hate towards Kit and Sophia. Don’t be daft just in the sake of being the most mature one in the room,” Harry looked towards Niall and offered a weak smile. None of this felt good and Harry had wanted to sing for the rest of his life until a few hours ago when his wife came in with words carved into her skin from the people that had gotten him where he was.</p><p>“But again, we can’t punish everyone just because some of them don’t know how to be decent human beings. We can take a few months off and go back to it,” Liam tried but the look Louis shot him from the wall he was leaning against was deadly.</p><p>“What do you need to understand the severity of the situation Liam? You want to wait around until rabid fans get a hold of Sophia and cut her into pieces as well? You’re willing to risk that just because you don’t want to ‘punish’ innocent fans. You saw the signs, Kitten hate sure but Sophia’s name is in there and you damn well know it,” He hissed and Liam shrunk back almost immediately at the images suddenly assaulting his head. “What makes you think they’ll stop with Kitten? What makes you think they won’t go back after Kitten again, maybe go for both the girls at once? Is that what you need to see happen in order for you to fucking get it?!” Harry cringed his fingers pausing in Kitten’s hair. The idea of this happening to yet another one of the girls almost too overwhelming for him to bare. It hurt enough that he hadn’t been able to protect his wife.</p><p>“Li,” Sophia was shaking a bit she’d gotten up from his lap and was pacing around the room clearly at unease. “He’s right,” She turned towards her husband and then towards her bandaged up friend. “This was out of control the minute they laid hands on her and I'm next and you know it,” snapping her eyes shut and trying to breathe around the bile forcing it’s way back up her throat. “You want to continue to get up on that stage, or do fan events that require you leave me vulnerable. Set us all up for god knows what. Think about this,” Soft hands were on her arms but they weren’t her husband's.</p><p>“It’s ok Soph, I’m not going to let it happen to you. No matter what your husband seems to be thinking. I’m not doing it. I won’t risk your life or hers any more and I refuse to encourage those who did it by continuing with what we are doing and practically ignoring the situation until it goes away,” Harry looked a bit crazed as he tugged Sophia into a gentle hug, his arms shaking around her but he meant every word. He wouldn’t do it. He didn’t have it in him.</p><p>“If you want to continue,” Niall grunted. “Then fine, do as you wish but you’ll do so without me,” Louis snarled.</p><p>“Or me” Niall spoke up giving Liam the best intimidating look he could. It wasn’t working very well. Niall’s angry face (as he’s been told) comes off more as a kicked puppy look than anger.</p><p>“Or me” Harry’s arms held Sophia rocking her slightly the image of the fans getting to her revealing in his head. He knew if the fans did something to Sophia, just what would happen to Kitten’s mental state. She prided herself so much on taking care of Sophia, keeping her safe.</p><p>“And I’m not safe any more Li. I’m not and I’m scared. I’d really rather have my husband next to me reassuring me than a bunch of security guards who are only being paid to be there. Sure we’ll need extra protection, all of us will but don’t take my husband away from me right now,”Pushing Harry away from her after one last squeeze to reassure him she was alright for the time being. Liam had his knees pulled to his chest, his head buried in them. Bless his soul, he forever wanted the best in people. Wanted to believe no one could possibly be evil enough to enjoy any of this. The truth was terrifying right now and they weren’t safe.</p><p>“Ok,” He pulled his head from his legs looking over at the girl who was asleep on the couch propped up oddly with her hand resting on what seemed to be the only bit of skin between her stomach and chest that didn’t have a cut on it. “I’m sorry, You guys are right. It’s just hard, to think that people could...be ok with this and I hate hurting people. Even if they deserve it,” Laying back against the floor unable to look around the room at his friends any more. But no one seemed angry with him just tired. This whole situation was exhausting.</p><p>“Alright so onto press conference and official statements,”Harry sat back down on the floor by Kitten’s head wanting so bad to reach out and pull her close to his body. It killed him that one of the only ways he knew to comfort hurt would hurt her so much physically. He loved her to much to put his selfish needs of holding her on her. “When are we going to hold the conference?”</p><p>“I think the sooner the better. Get it out there, clearly there is other things we’ll have to do even after a press conference. Like interviews with big tv stations and fighting what’s going to be a very public legal battled against a group of fans.” Louis nodded clearly agreeing with Niall, though they wished the battle wouldn’t be so public or troublesome as they knew it was going to be.</p><p>“Want the girls sitting with us at the conference, no question about that. Security needs to be intensified, I don’t care what it cost. Anything to keep them safe,” Harry mumbled setting his head down next to his sleeping wife’s needing to be close to her in any way possible at the moment.</p><p>“This is going to be a huge mess, we all know that right?” a frown had practically imbed itself on Liam’s face. “People are going to react in a million different ways and we are going to be held under a microscope. Paparazzi is going to be out of control until things settle, and Kitten’s going to be tore to shreds on social media and in some news outlets even.” He paused rubbing the back of his neck to gather himself again. “All of us in this room need to promise to stick this all out together, we do this as a family. No one gets up and goes their own way, we live in the same house and fight this together like the family we are,” The firmness he’d been looking for in his voice earlier seemed to have returned. He could practically hear the others scoffing as if he’d said something that was common knowledge.</p><p>“Absolutely, no one’s going to pull a Zayn. No one in this room are going to leave. We are a family Liam, you are 100% right and Families fight together,” Louis smiled tossing a balled up sock (which he’d gotten off his own foot) at his friend’s head lightening things up slightly.</p><p>“Nasty!” Liam groaned throwing the sock off his face and sitting up glaring at his mate before a smile broke out on his face unable to stop it.</p><p>“Speaking of families,” Harry was breaking into their fun, though right now he had every right to ruin their fun all he wanted. “We need to notify them of what's going on before they see it somewhere like twitter or the news,” And well no one had thought about notifying families yet and they probably needed to get on that.</p><p>“I think as soon as we are safe in the hotel room for the night, we’ll all make phone calls. Haz, I’ll call Des if you call your mum,” Louis offered knowing that having two sets of parents to notify could be a bit of work but Harry’s family needed to know most and the younger lad was more than grateful for his help.</p><p>“Thanks,” The room fell into silence after that. Kitten sleeping somewhat peacefully on the couch whimpering every now and then, Liam and Sophia holding each other as tight as possible, Louis and Liam both busy on their phones, making calls and preparations for their conference, and Harry who didn’t move from his spot on the couch and didn’t close his eyes, just watched his wife sleep. About an hour after the silence fell there was a knock on the Door and everyone's eyes whipped towards it. Sighing in relief when Paul walked through several guards behind him.</p><p>“Time to move out. It’s still crazy loud but the city sent out every officer they could to maintain the crowd so they are pushed back as far as we can get them. We need to move quickly through,” They didn’t waste a second in collecting the things they needed from backstage. Things such as Kitten’s suitcase of medical things and the backpack the boys always brought with them to the stadium.</p><p>“Kitten, baby?” There was a voice in her ear and she groand reaching to swat at it only to be reminded that sudden movements were her enemy. “I know I’m so sorry,” oh it was her husband’s voice. “We’ve gotta get up and get out. The car’s here, I can carry you?”He was always so sweet, she wasn’t sure she could handle him carrying her though fearing that it might be a bit painful to have her body in someone else's hands.</p><p>“Mmm, I’m getting up. Help me,” she mumbled blinking the blur from the drug induced sleep out of her eyes trying her best to come to enough to walk. Harry’s hands were on her and gently guiding her until she was standing worry clear in every move he made. Glancing around the room, reassuring herself that she was safe and that so was everyone else.</p><p>“Niall first, Harry and Kitten, Sophia and Liam, then Louis are you able to handle the back?” He sounded all business and she was a bit anxious at the idea of being out in the open with fans eyes on her right now.</p><p>“Sounds good,” Louis confirmed slinging his backpack over his shoulders handing Niall the bandage suit case.</p><p>“Everyone stay close to each other. Hold on and whatever you do, do not stop moving,” Change anxious to completely terrified at the weight of the words falling from Paul’s lips hit her. Sure, she’d been in situations like this before. An insane crowd gathered outside happy and looking to meet the boys after their concert. This was different, those fans were angry their show had been canceled and a large amount of them could be firmly against Kitten for causing this.</p><p>She was insistent that she walk wanting to avoid as much pain as she could but as they got closer to the door, her panic was making it too hard to breathe. The fear circling around her throat like a rope, tightening with every step she took. Niall looked like he might puke as the door was opened and screaming met their ears.</p><p>“Pick me up. Please. I don’t care if it hurts Harry pick me up,” She sobbed. Boy did it hurt as he slipped his arms under her knees and the other behind her back, bridal style. She was bent at all the wrong angles putting pressure in the wrong places but at the same time she didn’t care, trying to make herself as small as she could against her husband.</p><p>“Move, move, move,” Was the only direction she understood as they stepped out into a million of fans who ranged in pissed off and worried. No clear indication what was what or who was who, none of them were safe. She covered her face as flashes went off trying to just get a picture of her and Harry or maybe just her.Again she just wasn’t sure about anything right now, well except for the throbbing in her body.</p><p>“Almost there beautiful, almost there,” Harry promised, Niall threw a glance back at them worried less about his own claustrophobia and more about getting Harry and kitten out of here as fast as he could. The first car was in sight and the door was open and waiting for Niall to get in but as he reached it he didn’t get in even at the scolding he was getting by the guard. “Thank you,” Harry rushed out as Niall helped him with Kitten into the car and climbed in after them. Louis, Liam and Sophia would have to take the next car. The important part was getting Kitten taken care of and safe.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she was set in the seat and a seatbelt carefully adjusted against her so it caused the least amount of pain possible. “This mess,” She shook her head feeling like her body was going to explode. “I’m not making sense am I?” a laugh bubbled out of her chest at the noncommittal noises the boys next to her were making.</p><p>“Not completely but you are in a lot of pain right now aren’t you?” Her husband was always so soft and loving, setting his hand on the thigh with out the wound rubbing his thumb against the exposed flesh. She simply nodded leaning back in the chair desperate to find some kind of comfort. “Nothing busted did it?” He worried and she shrugged she didn’t think she felt anything bust open and she’d had that happen once before she left the hospital, so she’d know.</p><p>“Even if I did we just have to call marco can he can stitch it back up,” Harry and Niall both looked at her like she’d lost her mind. She realized they probably didn’t know how wounds and stitching worked. Having medical parents and a plethora of surgeries when she was younger kept her a bit more clued in with the medical parts of this.</p><p>“Can’t you bleed out if you bust one?!” Niall’s eyes were bugging out of his head and she frowned shaking her head, the last thing she wanted to do was frighten them.</p><p>“No, I mean yes technically but only if I bust like more than a whole word out and it’d probably take awhile for me to actually bleed out….thankfully the body is a wonderful thing when in danger,” She smiled but they didn’t seem reassured.</p><p>“What happens if you bust one then?”</p><p>“Under the staples are lots and lots of little stitches in the skin, keeping it together so I don’t like internally bleed and those are impossible to pop,” She promised hoping that eased them but Harry looked like he might puke.</p><p>“So you’ll just have stitches under your skin for the rest of your life? Why the staples then?” Her husband pressed even though he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.</p><p>“No,” She smiled confusing both boys again. “The stitches dissolve as the body heals. My body will break down the stitches as each part heals until it’s not in danger any more. So no, no horrible stitches that stay in there for ever. That’d hurt though,” looking down at her bandage before answering the second part of the question.</p><p>“Because something has to hold the skin and first few layers under it together. The doctor was more confident in the stitches, though he was supper through Haz. He put surgical glue on some of the worse ones as well so I’d have to like pop the staple, break the surgical bond and have a stitch inside malfunction to bleed out,” She hoped that sounded reassuring and not confusing.</p><p>“So you are like, held together by everything the doc could find?” Niall teased and she appreciated the change in tone of the situation. Harry even looked a bit more relaxed as they made the drive to the hotel. All of them hoping that it wasn’t as crazy there.</p><p>“Pretty much. Threw everything he had at me,” She nudged Harry and pouted until he leaned over and pressed a very chaste kiss to her lips, brushing his fingers against her jaw in the process. “He was a really good guy. Talked me out of checking out of the hospital earlier than advised because I was so mad I’d be late to get to the shows,” Niall’s laugh filled the car because yes, that's exactly something she’d do. injured and practically falling apart in every part of her body, she’d worry about being there for someone else.</p><p>“You’ll take me to meet him when we get home finally right? When it’s safe and all things accounted for?” Kitten nodded and looked out the window glad as the car pulled up to the hotel entrance and there wasn’t a million screaming fans. Sure there was a very small crowd of them but they were quiet for the most part and held back by a human barricade of cops. “Let’s get you up to the room,” The car door opened and Niall stepped out. Some of the fans crying out to him asking for an autograph. He didn’t pay attention simply held his arms out as Harry and him double teamed to make getting Kitten out as easy as possible.</p><p>She wasn’t as scared as she had been back at the venu. The crying out much less than it had been though still quite bone rattling every single time someone cried out to harry or niall or even worse her. As focused as she was at getting inside one of the fans caught her attention and not in a bad way, the little girl couldn’t have been older than 6 and she was sobbing and repeatedly asking her daddy if Kitten was ok. It made Kitten’s heart hurt a bit so she stopped moving causing both Harry and Niall to pause as they were almost inside.</p><p>“What’s up?” Harry asked softly following her gaze to the clearly frightened and worried child and he let out a fond sigh. Again, worrying about others before getting herself to safety. The bodyguards didn’t seem thrilled about it either. “You sure?” He clarified one more time pointing to the little girl and she nodded pressing him to go get her. “Alright love, I’ll get her and bring her inside you head in with Niall ok?” She grunted but agreed watching as Harry murmured into a guard's ear and the two of them broke off headed towards the little girl.</p><p>“Crazy,” Niall shook his head the smile on his face betraying the scolding he was trying to give the girl as he helped her through the doors and into the lounge area. Kitten practically thanked her lucky stars when the lady at the front desk came around it with a wheelchair that had what looked to be a very soft fluffy pillow on it to help her feel more comfortable. “Tell me you will sit in it right? You aren’t going to try and hero it through the elevator and then down like three hallways to the room,” He sounded like he was begging and for a brief second she debated on being difficult just because she could but the look on Niall’s face told her it wasn't the time for that.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll sit. I’m not going up to the room until I talk to that little girl Niall,” She demanded and he just nodded letting out another heavy sigh. He was rewarded with a pinch to his arm as she leaned on him to situate herself in the chair.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Little Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Pinching isn’t very nice,” He scolded, trying to look serious but Kitten had her best puppy eyes on and well she was in pain so she probably looked extra pathetic today. “S’alright Kit, we’ll get you upstairs and comfortable soon ok?” She hummed but didn’t really respond just leaned her head back.</p>
<p>“Is she ok?Did they hurt her?Is she going to be ok?Are the owies bad?oh my gosh she’s not going to die like mummy is she!?” a very small voice was absolutely frantic as it approached her and Niall. Tilting her head back up she was met with the very worried nearly hysterical child she’d seen outside. The father looked apologetic.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry. We were just waiting for a few hours but when we got there and the idiot teenager next to me told my daughter all about what was going on on twitter and apparently while i wasn’t paying near enough attention to her, showed her the picture that’s circling. She’s been crying since she saw it,” He was a very worn looking gentleman and he sounded so sincere and a little angry with himself for something like that happening to such a young girl.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, my wife's not upset about it at all. She’s the one that asked me to bring her in, refused to take another step until I came and got you and your daughter,” Her husband sounded light for the first time since she’d showed up and it did good things for her heart and dulled the pain just a little bit as Harry kneeled setting the little girl on the ground her fingers shoved into her mouth, her face red, tears rolling down her cheeks.</p>
<p>“She’s not,” The father sighed. “Her mother killed herself a year or two ago and she was the one to find her. She was only three at the time, so you can imagine the things that did to her, so when the teen showed her that picture it sent her into a complete frenzy,” He sounded like he was apologizing again and Kitten looked from the girl to the father her heart aching a bit at the story, no child should have that burden on their shoulders. Anything she could do to ease it was the least she could do.</p>
<p>“Really,” Kitten spoke up softly looking at the girl who Harry was knelt down with talking softly like he was trying to convince her it was ok to go over to her. “It’s absolutely fine, I wouldn’t want her to worry that I was dead. I’d feel absolutely terrible if I’d just walked past when clearly she needs to see that I’m ok for her own health,” The father’s eyes welled up with tears at Kitten’s kindness and Niall squeezed her shoulder a bit letting her know he supported her.</p>
<p>“Go on sweetie, she won't be mad I promise,” she mumbled something to Harry looking at Niall and he let out a soft laugh shaking his head. “No, Niall isn’t mad at you either. He wants you to see her as much as I do ok?” the little girl looked at him for a minute and then to her father before slowly dragging her feet across the small space between her and the injured woman.</p>
<p>“Hey cutie,” Kitten smiled and really hoped Niall was putting on a friendly face for the time being. It was important to this little girl. The little girl saw her bandages and sobbed a bit harder as she got closer. “Shhh, hey it’s ok little one,” She moved around a bit much to everyone’s dismay including her body’s reaching her arms out to the little girl. “C’mere honey,” She slipped her hands under the girls armpits to lift her up before NIall’s eyes went wide and he swooped in.</p>
<p>“fu-Don’t do that!” Unable to swear at her because of the small child. The kid looked even more frightened at Niall’s response and Kitten rose an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>“Put her on my left leg, I want to hug her a minute. I promise after that I’ll let you take me upstairs. Please, let me just comfort her ok?” There was really nothing Niall could say to that, even though he wanted to argue the sudden sadness in Kitten’s eyes caused him to think better of it.</p>
<p>“Evie be really careful sweetie,” her dad was quick to instruct his own panic at the condition Kitten was in showing a bit. Harry set a hand on his shoulder knowing better than to argue with his wife but also concerned. “Sit very still, she’s got a lot of owies,” The little girl looked at her father her fingers still in her mouth and nodded as she was set on Kitten’s leg. No, in reality it wasn’t a smart choice but Kitten wasn’t going to just walk past a little girl who was clearly practically mental over worry. She was much to young to feel like that.</p>
<p>“You have lots of owies?” Kitten was glad Evie was small and fairly light but it still sent fire through her body to have a little girl on her lap, brushing up against her stomach and arms. She was stupid, very stupid but compassionate and compassion would always overrule comfort.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Someone was very mean to me,” she hummed lifting her casted hand up and brushed the little girl’s hair away from her face with the fingers sticking out. “It’s alright though see?” She offered her a little smile. “I’m not gonna die, I’m invincible!” Harry rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. If only she was.</p>
<p>“You not, you not gonna die? But you has….” Evie looked far too burdened staring at Kitten’s bandaged arm. Kitten cringed slightly remembering that the little girl had seen the picture circling the internet. “mommy had those on her arm a lot,” the little girl stated and Kitten sucked in a pained breath because yeah that answered a question Kitten hadn’t really been ready to handle. Kitten herself had been a cutter for a large part of her life, only stopping with Harry’s help. “mommy’s arm,” She paused more tears falling down her face. “Looked like the picture…” She sobbed out and Kitten officially wanted to cry and she couldn’t help the tears that fell.</p>
<p>“No baby girl, listen to me ok?” Evie blinked through her tears and Kitten pushed all the pain away from her to care for this child who held so much pain. “Your mommy was a very sad woman and I’m so so sorry that you had to see that part of her life,”Her own voice cracking a bit and looking towards Harry, who looked like he might be having his own flashbacks to the night he’d found her nearly dead on the bathroom floor. “I’m not going to die though. Someone gave me these owies but the owies will heal. I have Niall and Harry to help me. You are a very special little girl and sweet,” Kitten pulled the little girl closer to her not caring how much pain it caused. Evie leaned in sniffling and trying to calm down.</p>
<p>“Why is there a kid on her lap?” Louis’ voice broke into the moment and Harry held up a hand quickly silencing the other three who looked hesitant and extremely concerned.</p>
<p>“I’m going to make a deal with you Evie,” She hummed as she pulled the little girl away from her so she could look at her face. “I’m going to leave some information with your daddy ok? And you can call me or skype me, whatever you need any time you get worried because you hear something or see something that reminds you of your mom or me,” using her good hand she brushed some tears away from the little girl’s face. “Would that make you feel better?” She nodded “Good, and in return I want you to make pictures every day and save every one of them. I want to see everything,” She smiled and the little girl's eyes lit up.</p>
<p>“really?” Kitten nodded trying not to scream because the pain was setting in even worse than before. “I can really call? and you say you ok?” Her vocabulary was clearly not all there yet or the trauma of seeing Kitten’s state had forced her to revert back into old speech patterns but Kitten adored the little speech hook.</p>
<p>“Mmhm, any time all the time ok? You can have your daddy send me a text message if that’s easier and I’ll send you a picture back so you’ll know until I can get to the phone that I’m ok,” She promised knowing it was going to be a bit of a feat to keep the promise but she would. Evie nodded her head eagerly. “Alright Little love,” She paused as Niall helped the little girl get down. “One more thing Evie?” The girl stopped and looked at her. “Don’t you listen to what any one ever tells you about me or your mommy or your daddy. Don’t you ever listen to the people who tell you that you aren’t the brightest star out there ok?” Evie nodded pushing the tears from her face and running back to her father's legs tugging on his pants until he picked her back up.</p>
<p>“I’ll hang back and get the information to him. You go upstairs. please?” Niall was desperate to just get her in a room where she couldn’t be hurt or seen any more. Needing to protect her in any way he could. She hummed for a moment more before nodding.</p>
<p>“K, I have to change the bandages any way. Oh that’ll be fun,” She grunted closing her eyes and sucking a breath through her teeth deciding that it had been a horrible choice to pick that little girl up and hold her. But something just had to be done and Kitten wasn’t one for seeing herself over others.</p>
<p>“You did a really amazing thing,” Harry was at her side now his hands on the wheelchair pushing it towards the elevators. “She really needed that, everything you said. Someone to tell her it was ok. I know you hurt yourself,” He hummed glancing down at her as she hung her head over the back looking up at him. “But I think what you’ve done and just said to her? I think it’ll save her life some day, when she gets to an age where everything it too hard. She knows she’ll have someone to call and I’m really proud of you,” He ducked down as they entered the elevator and dropped a kiss to her lips. She smiled the best she could in the pain she was in.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you let her put a child on her lap Harold! What are you thinking? She could have busted her staples open!” Louis scolded but Kitten snapped her head up and shot Louis the nastiest look she could manage.</p>
<p>“He didn’t /let/ me do anything. Fuck you, you don’t know what she went through and I’m not going to die if I bust a few staples so the fuck what! Big fucking deal it was worth it, it was so fucking worth it,” She snarled and Harry was trying to bite back the smug smile on his face because even in unimaginable amounts of pain and slightly drugged state she could still put Louis in his place. She never failed there.</p>
<p>“She was super cute, her dad was really nice too. Kept apologizing when me and Liam walked over. Said someone in the crowd had showed her a picture on the net and she made herself sick with worry, what a sweet girl,” Sophia would always have kitten’s back. No matter what the issue or Kitten’s choice. Sophia supported her all out because that’s what family does.</p>
<p>“She’s been through some tough shit,” her husband was shaking she could see it as his hands rested on the Wheelchair handles. “Kit’s just done something for her and her father that could possibly change their lives. I’m proud of her,” he was stubborn and she leaned her head over pressing a gentle kiss to the part of his hand she could reach.</p>
<p>“I can’t handle any more pain tonight,” Liam was covering his face and he sounded a bit like he might be crying. She tilted her head to look at Liam, his face pressed into his hands and Sophia rubbing his back in small circles.</p>
<p>“It’s ok Li. She’s a lovely little girl. We won’t talk about what she’s been through tonight, wouldn’t do that to you, think i’ve traumatized you enough,” His head shot out of his hands so fast that she was afraid he’d given himself whiplash. She quirked her mouth up into what she hoped looked like a smirk trying to communicate that she was kidding around. He huffed and crossed his arms, Sophia giggling slightly.</p>
<p>“Good to know your sense of humor is still intact,” She stuck her tongue out at the boy and he stuck his tongue out back glad when the elevator dinged to let them out.</p>
<p>“Yeah well, gotta have something don’t I?” she was ready to be laying down now really, but she knew the one thing she had to do before she could relax was change the bandages. If she didn’t she could get an infection and she wasn’t willing to risk it. “Soph, Haz, Louis if you want, can you guys help me change the bandages. Doc said I had to every 24 hours keep it clean and stuff,” Harry and Sophia gave a fairly fast response of ‘absolutely’ but Louis looked like he might be fighting with himself. Normally she’d worry over him but she was tired and achy and she couldn’t risk one more freak out at her today.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. One of them</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Apparently the changing of the bandages was bound to be traumatizing for everyone involved any way. She’d hoped that by asking those three to help that it might go smoothly but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. After pulling her shirt off, she, herself began to feel sick at the bandages. Forgetting the important information that occasionally this happened when they changed it at the hospital as well. She really wanted to puke and they hadn’t even gotten the bandages off yet.</p><p>“Alright, Lay down babe,” Sophia instructed and Kitten looked at her like she might be considering bolting. “It’s alright. let us take care of you. None of us are going to freak out I promise,” She attempted to sooth but Kitten felt her stomach lurching at the idea of them actually seeing the cuts as opposed to the bandages.</p><p>“m’gunna puke,” Harry grabbed a trash bin and placed it next to her. He brushed her hair away from her face, his cold hand against her suddenly warm skin exactly what she needed</p><p>“Here we go,” Louis warned, Harry’s hand kept stroking different parts of her face occasionally dipping through her hair. The bandages were slowly peeled back exposing each word one by one,leaving the one they’d just bandaged back at the stadium alone.First her lower leg, then her thigh, then her other arm. Kitten’s face lost almost all of it’s color as the pealed back her stomach bandag, she could hear a sharp intake of breath but she didn’t know where it came from.</p><p>“Shh, Hey, it’s ok. No one’s freaking out ok?” Sophia tried to reassure her but Kitten felt a little bit crazy.</p><p>“I am,” Harry chuckled lightly, leaning down he got next to her face pressing his forehead against hers distracting her. “S’alot. Threw up on the nurse a few times when she changed them, cried so hard once they had to sedate me to get ‘em changed,” This was not comforting news to anyone in the room trying to get her dressing changed.</p><p>“Ok you’re stomach is done. We are going to do your chest now, are you alright for that?”Kitten let out a pathetic laugh because it didn’t matter if she was ready they had to take the bandages off. She didn’t get a say. “Taking that as a yes,” Louis mumbled and very carefully they peeled back the bandages. The letters looked deeper and angrier than the other places on her body. Like the girl carving this word had every intention of digging as deep as she could to make sure Kitten wouldn’t ever get a chance to breathe again. Thankfully the small teenager girl hadn’t been strong enough to get enough force behind the knife to actually puncture important things. But it was deepest and angriest and the fresh air hitting it had kitten shoving harry away from her face and pulling the bin up and throwing up.</p><p>“It’s really red, that’s normal right?” Sophia sounded worried and Kitten held a finger up to finish puking before laying back down on the bed staring at the ceiling like it had answers for her.</p><p>“Yes, she was the angriest one of them all. Cute girl don’t know where all that angers stored,” Harry felt sick himself at her calling one of her attackers cute. Then her reminded himself of her way of dealing with things and this wasn’t out of the ordinary. “She got me the worst, she was within one sneeze away from puncturing something important. I don’t remember what the doctor said she almost hit but it was something like huge and important,” He looked down to his wife who seemed to be speaking in a breathless tone like she wasn’t all there. “S’red because it’s so deep and i think the knife was dull and not sterile. Doc said that one was almost guaranteed infection that’s why he gave me preventative meds and kept me in the hospital longer,” All of them felt a little sick as they finished the bandaging.</p><p>“All done babe. Did so good,” He brought both of her hands to her face petting her cheeks for a moment before slipping her fingers through her hair. “I think it might be time for more pain meds yeah? And bed? Bed sound good?” She let out a weak nod looking at him her eyes drooping with sheer exhaustion from just changing the bandages. Harry’s fingers twitched with the urge to kill whoever did this, even if it had been a few teenage girls. He didn’t care how old they were, he wanted them locked up or kicked in the face with a steel toed boot. He couldn’t decide which he wanted more.</p><p>The next two days were pretty uneventful, Kitten hardly was allowed to leave the bed. The boys getting everything she needed, Sophia being her constant cuddle buddy. It felt kind of nice but at the same time she felt a little trapped in her own skin. It was hard because her body was still in so much pain and she just felt so confused and lost with why some one had wanted to hurt her so bad. Unfortunatly the news outlets had gotten a hold of the story after being tipped off to a youtube confession and description of the crime. The attackers version of what happened out there for all. Though not allowed to be on tv because it was too graphic, youtube had yet to take it down and Louis had called them again and warned them if it went one more day they’d have a lawsuit on their hands. Kitten didn’t know what on earth would take them so long to realize that was graphic material not needing to be out there.</p><p>She should have been ready for today though, it was the conference and she’d been asked to sit in on it next to Harry. Sophia would be in there as well sitting next to Liam because of the new rules the boys had laid out in interest of keeping the girls safe. The day had started out pretty awful as it was, she’d tripped and fallen getting out of the bed and Harry had been forced to catch her so her head didn’t hit the table. His hands had gone around her middle to yank her back up causing her to puke on the floor in front of him in pain. Then when she was getting dressed she cried getting the loose fitting yoga pants on, her shirt getting caught up in the bandages a bit frustrating her until she just gave up and called for Harry. Her antibiotics and Painkillers made her feel sick and dazed a lot of the time. Harry had called the doctor to make sure this was a natural reaction to the meds. He’d said yes and gave warning signs to watch out for. None of wich she was showing.</p><p>“Fuck off damnit,” Kitten hissed because apparently she was moving too slowly for the director of the conference. The woman getting up to close to her and practically shoving her before Harry promised bodily harm if she touched Kitten again. Now she just stood next to her going ‘your going to be late walking so slow!’ Kitten didn’t want to be here. She wanted to be there even less as they stepped into the room and several flashes went off. great photographers, just what she needed when she felt like this. Harry frowned looking at her like he was debating weather or not to stay and do this or not but he was being shoved into his chair before he could come to a conclusion.She struggled for a minute getting into her chair wanting to throw up at the pressure sitting up was putting on her body.</p><p>“Alright as you all get settled,” The lady rushing her spoke into a microphone. “We are here to discuss a rumor going around that Harry’s wife has been assaulted by fans,” Kitten let out a low growl.</p><p>“RUMOR?!” Harry’s hand quickly came to rest on her shoulder trying to calm her but she felt like this was quiet posisbly the worst choice she could have made. There was no way she’d be able to handle people doubting her.</p><p>“We are here to talk about the future of the band and what we are going to do in light of a group of teenage girls attacking my wife. We are not here to question the legitimacy of what has happened, you see the bandages it’s pretty fucking clear and One question accusing her of anything and we are done. We will all walk out,” Harry’s voice was firmer and louder than he’d intended it to be but he’d had to make it clear he wouldn’t tolerate it. He really wished his mother had flown in last nigt instead of waiting another few days just to make sure it’s safe for everyone.</p><p>“Can you tell us exactly what’s going on, we see the bandages but there are many stories out there right now and we’d like to know which /is/ true,” The lady rephrased the question and Kitten didn’t feel any better about it. She set her elbows on the table in front of her and put her head in her hands irritated that her casted hand got in the way of hiding her face completely.</p><p>“You will learn the truth as the rest of the world does, as we take those young ladies to court for what they’ve done. Until then you can all survive living in question of it,” Louis snapped reaching over and running a hand down kitten’s back trying to reassure her.</p><p>“Why does it matter?” Kitten’s voice came out a bit more broken than she’d meant it. “You see the bandages, the only difference in the stories going around on the internet are the amount of words, what was used to carve them and what the words are. Those change with every story, but you stand there like it’s some huge secret,” She lifted her head looking around at the photographers and to her husband feeling like she might faint or throw up again. Two things she needed to not be doing. “I can’t stop the world from knowing about this, isn’t that bad enough without me having to go into detail every damn time someone asks? Isn’t that enough without me having to expose the words or what they were carved with? They are on my body, I’m the one that has to live with them. My husband, our friends and I are the ones that have to look at them the rest of my life, Isn’t that enough for you people?” She was met with a short silence.</p><p>“Now that we have that cleared up,” The lady cleared her throat and Kitten swore she was about two seconds from getting up from her chair and strangling the woman who was shooting her a nasty look. “Moving on, First question please?” She rolled her eyes and shrunk down in her chair a bit refusing to look anywhere but her lap,anger boiling under the hurt that she was feeling. Why this had happened to her she’d never understand and right now she felt a bit pissed off that the rest of the world got to see it happening. Harry’s hand was on her knee and Louis’ on her other thigh, she appreciated their efforts really she did.</p><p>“Your concert this weekend you were quoted calling a group of your fan base delusional and disgusting,” A man stood up looking around at the boys, She tilted her head for a moment to look at the man as if she was warning him to be careful with his words. She doubted it actually came across threatening but at least she’d tried. “Do you care to explain a bit?” Liam spoke before anyone else could, Kitten could feel his eyes glaring a hole into her when he was probably glaring at Louis to keep his mouth shut.</p><p>“What has happened to our friend has been a disgusting act of a few extremist fans. If you can call them fans at all. It’s not unlike that certain group of fans to get out of control, it happens a lot. If you look around the audience there is hundreds of signs stating their beliefs, they smother people with their ideas and force what they believe on others,” Kitten smiled slightly, Liam had such a great way of wording things without actually sounding like he wanted to slaughter everyone. “Do we regret calling that group delusional? no not really, they have become that, exactly that however,” He paused and gave a firm look to his bandmates “We were angry extremely angry and disgusting was the best word we could come up with in the moment,” Louis grunted and she let out a slight laugh.</p><p>“You know by your speech and calling out those fans you are going to alienate a large portion of your fanbase, correct? Are you sure you want to do that?” another man was standing up looking somewhere between curious and smug.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter,” She turned her head looking at her husband surprised he was the one answering the question. “Alienate them or not, they know what they’ve done. They’ve been doing it for years, I choose for the most part to ignore it. Largely because my wife never cared what they thought and we both thought it was more important to let the lgbt community know of our support,” He looked to his wife and she could feel tears biting at her eyes he looked so angry and sad. “I do not regret showing my support for the community but i’m beyond angry that these people took it and made it something else, something they could try and break my wife with,” He spat. She let one of her hands that had been on the table fall into her lap resting on top of his with a gentle squeeze.</p><p>“Aren’t you at all concerned about the negative effect those words and the ones said on stage are going to have on fans? I’m sure you’ve seen the tragedies unfolding in the last few days at the words you said. Are you not sorry at all?” A female stood up, her voice hard and accusing. Kitten frowned and tilted her head a bit, glaring after a moment.</p><p>“Why should we be sorry? Do you not see the state of our friend? Our very dear friend over things they have done?!” Louis was positively bursting at the seams. Kitten shook her head snapping her eyes shut. She knew that woman, more so the voice and certain facial features, it’s hard to get a clear view of someone on your chest digging their knife into your body.</p><p>“You are aware there are fans vowing to kill themselves because of what you’ve done? And you aren’t sorry at all?” The female snarled and Kitten smacked on of her hands on the table and leveled the female with the best animalistic look she could come up with.</p><p>“I don’t know, Are you sorry?” She growled into the mic, her friends and husband turning to face her confused with her sudden change in demeanor.</p><p>“Why should I be sorry?” Kitten wasn’t going to play this game. “I’m not the one that has caused millions of fans to vow suicide and self harm am I?” She growled standing up the woman hosting was moving towards Kitten but not fast enough.</p><p>“You aren’t are you?” She let out a bitter laugh. “You suddenly care now about someone else bleeding over your fucking fantasy?!” Louis was up next to her being the first one to pick up on Kitten’s sudden change in behavior and what it meant.</p><p>“It’s different,” the female argued and Kitten let out a growl that she didn’t know she could make sound that low. It felt a bit good even with the pressure of her heart slamming against her chest causing a burning against the words.</p><p>“Different? Oh I get it,” The hosting lady was getting closer and Kitten was going to get out what she had to say no matter what at this point. “It’s only ok when /You’re/ the one cutting them open, when you are the one causing them pain,” Harry shot out of his chair looking at the woman and then to his wife, his face red. “It’s only fucking ok when it’s your hands that cut words into someone's chest! I’m not the one that has to be sorry for what’s going on, that’s on you and your friends now isn’t it?” She growled.</p><p>“She’s one of them?” Sophia’s voice was a bit breathy, a bit afraid. Liam quickly put his arms around his wife pulling her as close as he could glaring at the woman standing and looking quite shell shocked at Kitten’s outburst.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Don’t fucking touch me!” Kitten snarled at the host as she set her hand on her shoulder to guide her out of the room. “Get your fucking goddamn hands away from me!” when the female didn’t appear to be letting go of her hands, Kitten let out a feral noise. “If you don’t move your fucking hands off me in the next five seconds I’m going to break your goddamn fingers” She warned in a low tone and the woman moved back slightly frightened by Kitten’s demeanor.</p><p>“You’ve got one hell of a nerve showing up here,” Louis’ voice was low, his hands on kitten’s arms helping her in a standing position so it wasn’t so much pressure on her body. “Just had to get in as many kicks as you could,” his face was red in anger and Kitten couldn’t take her eyes off the woman in the crowd who was switching between smug and slightly shocked or frightened.</p><p>“No charges have been finalized against me now have they? her accusations are empty and lies until I’m arrested or charged with a crime. Funny that , I haven’t been yet,” The female snarked back and Kitten was going to go over this desk if she didn’t feel like her body might explode into a million pieces if she did.</p><p>“You sick fuck,” Confusion etched itself on Kitten’s face, she’d opened her mouth to speak but it hadn’t been her voice that spoke. Niall’s voice at a tone she didn’t think she’d ever hear before. “You absolutely sick fuck, it is people like you and your little following who posted pictures of what you’d done to her on the internet that have caused the fall out. If anyone is responsible for the tragedies in the fan base now, it’s you. If you’d kept your hands to yourself and your nasty delusions. Carving words into some one’s body, what the fuck purpose does that serve?”</p><p>“I’m innocent until proven guilty,” the girl smirked “So no I can’t speak to what purpose that would serve because I’ve done nothing of the sort,” Kitten screamed.</p><p>“No of course because I’m a fucking lunatic who couldn't /possibly/ remember the horrific face or voice of the woman sat on my rib cage carving her dedicated word so far into my chest that I’d bleed out if you didn’t strike my fucking heart,” She felt wild, the pain radiating through her a painful reminder of the woman's actions on her body. Harry’s hand left her arm and before Kitten could move he was going to lunge across the table, thankfully Niall caught him restraining him from going at the woman. Sophia apparently after hearing which word the woman had done was in a similar mind state as Harry, the only thing holding her back was Liam’s arms against her waist.</p><p>“This is over,” Louis spoke sternly, being the only one keeping Kitten up right at the moment. “The world will find out what’s going on with us as a band through a video or a private interview. I’m not going to sit here in the same space as that thing,” He gestured to the crowd. “Until she’s been arrested we might not announce anything, you all have her to thank for your exclusive being ruined,” Kitten huffed, cringing slightly</p><p>“Think I gave them enough of an exclusive didn’t I?” She mumbled. “I can see it now. Harry Styles’ injured wife goes crazy at a press conference. Maybe it’ll be ‘Harry Styles’ wife throws accusations at innocent bystander in the crowd’. They’ll edit the video until I look like the monster they want to make me out to be,” She pushed Louis’ hands away not caring how much it hurt to stand on her own.</p><p>“What about the young fans?!” Someone shouted and Kitten had her fill of this room of idiots. She flipped who ever had shouted that off.</p><p>“The young fans don’t understand any of this and those that do are suffering because people like that woman right there exist,” She hissed rejecting Louis’ open arms again knocking the chair out of her way, trying to make a dramatic exit. Though it was considerably less dramatic with how slow she had to move to get out without falling flat on her face in pain. Her slow moves were countered with the drama of her shoving anyone's hands offering to help her away.</p><p>“We are going to take a break,” The hostess said into the microphone trying clearly to sound hopeful. “Security will escort that woman from the building?” Kitten’s ears were ringing memories of just a week or two ago of being shoved to the ground, it felt like the words were being freshly carved as she pushed through people trying to find a bathroom she could lock herself in at this point. “Hopefully, we’ll get one direction back out here in a few short minutes, Don’t leave,” She let out a loud laugh doubting that her husband and his friends would continue the press conference after what had just taken place.</p><p>“Kit!” Someone was calling after her but it sounded far away and she didn’t have time to stop. If she stopped she was going to crumble to the ground in a heap of pain and vomit. Bathroom, that was the only thing she could think. Bathroom and ice she wanted ice against her wounds even though the pressure of the ice hurt, the hurt was extremely outweighed by the numb the ice allowed her to feel on her skin.</p><p>“Right here,” She knew that voice, it was Liam’s bodyguard Paddy. He was standing in front of her holding a door open, peaking into it she realized it was a private bathroom. She made a note to kiss Paddy’s feet later for knowing what she was looking for. Her face must have conveyed a little bit of her gratefulness because he smiled holding the door with his foot and offering her his help into the bathroom. “I’ll keep watch alright? There’s a blanket on the floor for you to rest on. Don’t ask how I got that there before you needed it,” he teased but she wasn’t in the mood for joking.</p><p>She tried to mumble a thank you as she took his held taking the few last steps into the bathroom only stopping when she was next to the toilet. Extremely thankful that Paddy had somehow gotten a blanket on the nasty bathroom floor. Easing her body down as slowly as she could, she let out a few soft cries. Her body hurt so bad and nothing was making it feel better, sitting wasn’t creating enough relief for her though. Glancing at the blanket for a moment and scooting around she decided she had enough room to lay down. Laying down as a bit easier than just sitting and it felt so good once she was laid flat.</p><p>“I don’t think it’s a good idea to go in Niall,” Paddy was outside the door that he’d propped open with a very small rock and was currently standing in front of the only open space there was to get in.</p><p>“Someone needs to be in there with her incase she heaves and passes out or something,” There was a slight pause and she strained to hear what might be being said under their breath. “I appreciate what you’re doing standing guard but she needs someone and her husband is a bit wrapped up in trying to strangle anyone that gets close to him,” She giggled slightly at the idea of calm, love not war, non confrontational husband of hers so angry and ranting and raving about threatening to strangle someone. It was so opposite his character 90% of the time, though he was frightening when mad and she supposed he probably was pretty pissed.</p><p>“Are the others going to want in as well?” He sounded a bit defeated and Kitten really needed to remember to send him flowers or something as a thank you for trying to take care of her in the only way he knew how.</p><p>“Don’t think so. Louis and Liam are both struggling to keep Harry under control and Soph is hardly under control herself. Preston’s got her while the other boys keep Harry in place. She’s busy giving the hostess the most horrific verbal lashing I’ve ever heard Sophia give. I didn’t know she knew those words,” Another giggle bubbled past her lips, Sophia very rarely cussed or used words seen as crass or inappropriate even if everyone else around her did. Always doing her best to be a lady. A groan fell from her as the laugh died and the pain sunk back in.</p><p>“Fine,” Paddy was huffing indignantly as he pulled the door open and the irishman stepped into the bathroom, giving the body guard a strange look at the blanket on the floor. “Don’t ask, it’s just important that it’s there,” Kitten reached up an arm giving a thumbs up to Paddy who she could feel looking at her as he spoke. He shook his head and laughed a bit. “I’ll close the door. Shout if you need something. I”ll be right outside,” He promised.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” the door clicked and Niall was suddenly next to her sitting on his knees his legs tucked underneath him. “You are absolutely mad you know that?” She frowned trying to glare up at him trying to figure out where he was going with that.</p><p>“Heeeey” She whined out much like her husband often did. No one knew which one of them started doing that first but it was equally as guilt inducing from either one. Damn the Styles’ couple.</p><p>“You just stood up in front of the woman who clearly had part in this,” He gestured to her body laying down. “And gave it everything you had, threw it all out there not to mention all those cameras and people staring. You didn’t stumble once, held your own. Kit you looked her in the eye, Do you have any idea how brave that makes you?” A pleasant tingling ran down her spine at his praise. It felt so good to have someone tell her she was brave after the events lately but it didn’t feel like she was. Felt like she might have been stupid to speak up.</p><p>“There is a very thin line between bravery and stupidity. I think I might have crossed it a bit,” Niall shook his head, moving to sit on his but indian style next to her head, careful not to touch any part of her body, knowing how much pain she was probably in after her ‘dramatic’ exit.</p><p>“You’re joking right?” She raised an eyebrow at him as if challenging him to doubt her. “I’ll take that as a no,” He smiled and reached over tapping her eyebrow just to touch her at this point. “You looked her in the face and called her out. Do you have any idea how frightening you looked when you leveled her with that glare? I’ve never seen you look like that before. Looked like a feral lion teeth bared and ready to pounce on her throat. She looked propper frightened,” It was reassuring to know that her angry glare had come across like she’d wanted it too.</p><p>“You know I’ve just made a, right mess of things right? Further than I already have obviously,” Sighing she moved around on the floor, yes she felt better lying down but at the same time she wanted to be at eye level with Niall. Not looking up at him from the floor. “help me sit up against the wall,” His hands were at her sides guiding her to sit her up as soon as the question left her lips. Sometimes she swore she’d married half the band, especially when they treated her with such affection and care.</p><p>“No, I don’t think you have,” there was a frown etching its way onto his face, his hands leaving her sides and brushing some hair out of her face. “Think you’ve just made it real for those who didn’t understand the truth of what was going on. You did what you needed to do and I for one am extremely proud of you,” the tingling was back as he praised her again. She wanted to fight and shake her head in firm disagreement but that seemed like so much work at the moment. grunting under her breath was much easier.</p><p>“Li and Louis aren't going to let Harry actually hurt anyone are they?” It was a pathetic attempt to change the topic of conversation and she knew Niall could see through her but much to her ease he went along with it.</p><p>“There is a whole lot of people between Harry and actually strangling someone” He promised. There was an abundance of yelling outside the bathroom door suddenly and Kitten completely tensed looking at Niall frightened. “It’s alright. Paddy’s out there, no one's getting past Paddy,” She wanted to believe him but the yelling was followed by pounding noises and she wasn’t sure if they were on or next to the door. Her mind was to distracted trying to protect herself from whatever was on the other side of that door, to think about what it could be rationally. Another slam against the door and she jumped her whole body lighting up in pain again.</p><p>“I’m scared,” She admitted looking from the door to Niall, he didn’t look worried but angry at the door for frightening her. He looked away from the door and to her trembling body anger fueling with whatever was causing the noise outside. “I’m so scared,” tears were gathering in her eyes and dripping down her face now and Niall swore death on who ever was causing whatever was going on outside.</p><p>“Shh it’s ok sweetheart, I’m here yeah? I’m not going to let anything happen to you, nothing. Not now not ever yeah?” he felt his heart sink when she didn’t look very convinced with his promise. “I’m going to make it stop ok? I’m going to go to the door but I won’t let them past me ok?” She looked at him a child like innocence and fear on her face that made her look ten years younger than she was.</p><p>“Harry,” Niall looked at her for a moment before realizing what she was saying. If it was Harry at the door she wanted him to be let in. He supposed he could live with that as long as it wasn’t HArry banging around outside the front door.Getting off the floor with a shit knee was never easy and he had to straighten himself out before he walked to the door. His shoulders squared and chest puffed out in confidence to assure Kitten in his body language that he was here between her and whatever was out there. Opening the door Niall just sighed looking at the people wrestling with each other.</p><p>“She’s my wife!” Harry apparently was the one screaming and he sounded near hysterical. If he went in the bathroom like that Kitten would lose any calm she’d created with Niall in the bathroom. Paddy kept pushing Harry back Liam and Louis doing there best to combat his erratic movements.</p><p>“Not until you calm your ass down,” The bodyguard turned and looked at the open door and the blonde standing in the way apologetically. “Go in there with her real quick Paddy, I’ll deal with Harry,” Paddy looked from Harry to Niall and then inside the bathroom where Kitten was cowered shaking a bit. Niall nudged him giving him a ‘do it already’ look, with that he stepped into the bathroom and let the door close Kitten physically easing with Paddy standing guard on the inside of the door.</p><p>“Let me see my wife!” Louis cringed, Harry was extremely loud. He hadn’t stopped screaming since security came in and took the girl out. Yelling everything he could come up with and throwing it at any one who got in his way of getting to his wife or taking care of her. Right now He felt like the world was completely out to get him.</p><p>“Enough,” Niall’s voice clearly shocked Harry who stopped trying to rip out of Liam’s grip at the door but not completely calming him. “You are absolutely scaring the shit out of her right now Harry,” That seemed to do the trick, his body slumping. Harry hadn’t meant to scare his wife, he just needed to see her. Be able to touch her and see that she was fine, that was what he needed and it felt like everyone was in his way. “You have to calm down, if you go in there like this she’s going to puke the first chance she gets,” he warned and the frantic husband felt even worse.</p><p>“I need to see her Niall,” He was begging his friend to let him into the bathroom, tears biting at his eyes. There wasn’t a part of him that didn’t want to be close to his wife right now, it was driving him crazy that he couldn’t see her.</p><p>“I know and she wants to see you,” Harry deflated a bit more, relaxing enough that Liam finally let go of his hold on the boy. “You need to be calm though, she can’t handle your being off the handle right now. She just looked one of the people who caused her so much pain in the eye and gave everything she had. She’s scared and worn out and in a lot of pain and if you go in there crazed and angry, she’ll think she’s done something wrong and none of us want that ok?” All he could do was nod. Niall looked at his bandmate unsure for a moment before grabbing the door handle. “Are you calm now?”</p><p>“Mhm, please just open the door. I’d really like to get to her and get her out of here,” They all knew it’d be a little bit before they were allowed to leave. The media storm outside too much yet again, even if it had been a private area. Press had found a way in. Niall twisted the door handle and tapped Paddy on the shoulder, the older man turned around looking relieved that someone else had just stepped in. When Harry looked passed him, the relief/panicked look on Paddy’s face made sense. Kitten appeared to have started puking as soon as NIall stepped out and was resting her head against her arms on the toilet. Which was probably the least sanitary area for her to be laying.</p><p>“Poor thing,” Liam mumbled peaking into the bathroom, Kitten always looked so pale now like she was one breath away from just completely falling apart. Though she was increasingly pale at the moment it struck worry with every single one of them looking into the bathroom. Harry rushed forward and Kitten whimpered trying to draw her head away from the toilet and tell her husband what had caused her to start puking but she couldn’t seem to get it out her hand was pressed under her shirt against her stomach.</p><p>“Shh,What are you trying to say baby? You’ve got to breathe or you’re going to pass out, what’s wrong?” Harry was at his knees in front of her blocking everyone else's view. Kitten gasped out in pain as she dry heaved before slowly pulling her hand out of her shirt showing Harry what was wrong instead. He nearly fainted at the blood on her hand, he quickly looked from her hand, then her face, settling on her covered stomach. “How bad?” was all he could question and she couldn’t seem to get an answer out which just frightened both of them worse.</p><p>“Harry? What’s going on?” Louis had shoved Paddy and Niall aside to figure out why things had suddenly become quiet and tension filled. Harry’s back tensed up like he was ready to fight. Kitten didn’t have the words to tell him how bad it was so she forced her self to lean back against the wall and lifted her shirt over her stomach which of course only revealed the bandage that was being bled through. That wasn’t a good thing, that was the exact opposite of a good thing.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Some one go get Sophia, Paddy call an ambulance!” Harry’s voice came out a lot stronger than he felt as he looked at the bandage on her stomach which seemed to bleed more every second. He had no idea what was under that bandage or how to stop it at the moment. No idea what it could mean was going on and he was scared. Louis looked over his shoulder and lost all his own color whipping around to the other boys.</p>
<p>“Go!” He growled at Paddy who immediately pulled out his phone looking concerned. “Liam, Niall give me your shirts!” The boys looked at him confused because really? At a time like this when they still had no clue what was going on he wanted their shirts? Was he going mental. “just /do/ it! Then go get Sophia!” Liam grunted not happy at being clueless but passed his shirt over. Niall did the same but he followed Louis back into the bathroom while Liam went on a search for his wife. “Harry, Haz you’ve got to get the bandage off. We have to put pressure on it, it’s going to hurt her but it’s going to keep it from bleeding any worse,” Harry looked up at him like the idea made him want to puke.</p>
<p>“Shit,” Niall felt like his voice had been sucked out of him before he was quickly moving into action. “Lay her down, Haz if you can’t help get out of the way. Every second counts here,” He urged and the worried husband just shuffled out of the way unable to do much of anything but feel sick himself. Louis and Niall worked quickly to lay the girl down and push her shirt up peeling the bandage back and trying not to lose their lunch at the amount of blood on her stomach unable to tell which letter it was pouring out of or if it was more than one.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Kit, I’m so sorry this is going to hurt alright? But it’s going to keep you from bleeding out,” Louis warned as he balled up Liam’s shirt and pressed it to her stomach putting pressure on the first half of the large letters spelling out FAKER in her stomach. “Niall other side, Harry why don’t you come comfort her yeah? Talk to her,” he urged, Niall didn’t waste time climbing over and pressing his own shirt to the other half of the words on her stomach. She opened her mouth to cry out in pain but she couldn’t there wasn’t enough energy left in her to do that. Harry crawled up past his friends fighting his urge to punch them in the face for causing her pain, until he was at her head stroking the tears off her face.</p>
<p>“Shh, it’s alright baby. I’m going to get you taken care of yeah?You said it yourself you’d have to bust a lot more than a few staples to bleedy out,” He was trying to be encouraging and Louis didn’t have the heart to tell him that he wasn’t sure it was just ‘a few’ staples that were missing from her stomach. Letting him hold onto whatever hope he could at the moment. Kitten looked at him her eyes frightened feeling like she was dieing all over again. She knew as well as Louis did, something had happened under the skin because she was bleeding through the staples that were there. Apparently puking isn't good for a body who’s just been stitched up.</p>
<p>“Preston and Dale went outside to meet the medics and get them in here,” Liam announced taking a step into the bathroom, Sophia at his side looking red faced still. “Now will someone tell me what’s going on so one of us can tell the medics?” Harry looked up from where he was sitting at Kitten’s head to glare at Liam for his tone.</p>
<p>“She’s bleeding Liam,” Louis’ reply was short and not at all very friendly. “Harry Shirt off she’s bleeding through this one,” The eldest boy always seemed to be the calmest one in situations like this. Medical situations where everyone else was hardly holding onto their cool. Him and Niall usually handled things the best, well medical emergencies. The scared husband didn’t hesitate shrugging out of his shirt and handing it to his friend. Louis switched out the shirts looking at the one Niall was holding, he was running out of people to take shirts from.</p>
<p>“I thought she said this was impossible?” Liam choked, Sophia shaking at his side for a moment before he realized she was pulling her own shirt over her head. Leaving her in just her bra which wasn’t ideal but Niall’s once blue shirt was now almost completely red and he needed a clean shirt to press while they waited for teh medics.</p>
<p>“Here Niall,” She tossed her shirt to him and he looked up smiling thankfully at the woman before switching the shirts out and going back to pressing on the area trying their best to stop the bleeding.</p>
<p>“Didn’t say it was impossible, just unlikely and rare. Just like everything else she’s ever been through,” Louis grumbled because really any time Kitten went through something she ended up being the ‘rare’, ‘exception to the rules’ with her body. Doctors often shocked at the way her body reacted to things that other people were fine with.</p>
<p>“Boys the medics are here,” Preston announced a little weirded out at first that all of them were shirtless including Sophia until he realized what that meant. Two medics pushed passed the guards and into the room shoving everyone out of there way (not that anyone put up to much of a fight).</p>
<p>“What’s going on?” A medic with the name tag Allen asked as he crouched down next to Louis. Looking to the bloody shirt he was holding and then at the pale girl laying on the floor bandages covering her chest and arms as well. Thankfully Preston had filled him in on what was under those bandages.</p>
<p>“We aren’t sure, She was fine and then she started to puke and when Harry came in here she was hunched over the toilet holding her stomach. That’s when we realized she was bleeding. We got her laid out and got pressure on it as fast as we could but it’s not stopping,” Harry looked down at his wife who seemed to be struggling to keep her eyes open, his heart hammering away in his chest.</p>
<p>“Good, Alright let's get her moving now Mick,” The other medic (Mick apparently) nodded moving to where Niall was. “You two hold pressure while we get her up onto the backboard and then onto the bed ok?” Niall and Louis grunted their approval not moving from their spots as the medics slipped a red board under Kitten’s body and then they were lifting her up with Niall and Louis still holding the shirts against her. “Ok good, which one is her husband?” Louis pointed to Harry who was scrambling to his feet to be at her head on the cot the medics had her on.</p>
<p>“Come hold pressure over here, we’ll get her in the ambulance faster with your help,” Mick spoke up nudging Niall out of the way nodding for Harry to come over and take his place needing someone else to hold it while they wheeled her out to the ambulance. “you stay where you are. We want to keep her from bleeding as much as we can. We’ll get some sterile bandages in the ambulance and i’ll be able to put pressure on it but until then we need your help,” Harry felt like his fingertips were numb as he pressed his hands into the cloth on her body, her eyes fluttering open and shut every so often like she was fighting to keep them open.</p>
<p>Pushing through the crowd in the building was easy when there was a crowd of several worried bandmates following the cot out and screaming at anyone who so much as got in the way. Normally mick and Allen wouldn’t allow interference from outside people while working but right now it worked to their advantage and to the patient. It took a few seconds to detach louis from her side and Harry as well as they loaded her into the ambulance.</p>
<p>“Husband can ride with us,” Allen nodded towards Harry and he quickly scrambled up into the blaring ambulance. the sirens ringing in his ears. “Alright Mick let’s go!” He shouted as he shut the doors to the ambulance notifying the others which hospital she’d be going to before getting in and pulling out at record speeds.</p>
<p>“What the fuck?” was all Sophia could choke out as she watched the ambulance pull away, not at all affected by the fact that she was standing half naked in a crowd of people being held back by officers and snapping pictures. “She was, She said this wasn’t likely...It’s not supposed to happen,” The girl continued and Liam wrapped his arms around her pulling him into her body to comfort her as well as shield her from the eyes of the people taking photos.</p>
<p>“It’s not supposed to, she wasn’t lying when she said that. I don’t know what happened, it wasn’t a few burst stitches guys it wouldn’t bleed like that,” Niall mumbled looking at the bloody shirt in his hands feeling a bit traumatized by the whole thing.</p>
<p>“No it wasn’t, She was bleeding through the staples that were still there.A Stitch or something inside her had to have failed or bust. Harry doesn’t know it’s not just the staples though. I didn’t have the heart to tell him,” Louis admitted rubbing the back of his neck ignoring the drying blood on his hands. “Let’s get moving, Harry’s going to need us at the hospital,” They all walked back inside grabbing shirts and heading straight for the cars causing complete chaos with the fans out front.</p>
<p>They weren’t wrong when they got to the hospital being led back to a private waiting room, finding Harry with his head in his hands and what looked to be a scrub top. A nurse must have given him one, Louis made a note to thank who ever had given it to the completely grief stricken husband. Harry looked up as his friends walked in, the medic had insisted that she was going to be alright, her heart rate stayed good she was just bleeding a lot. They insisted they’d gotten to her in time, trying to reassure him but it just made him feel sick.</p>
<p>“I told them to call the last doctor she’d seen for this, I don’t know if they will though. There was so much blood,”He mumbled having no idea that three rooms away his wife was doing her best to keep her blood inside of her. The doctors walking around her working quickly and praising her that she was able to keep her eyes open as they worked. It sucked because she could sort of feel every little move they made but she understood there wasn’t a whole lot of time to numb her. They needed to find the source of the bleeding before she lost any more blood. She closed her eyes for a second whimpering and a gloved hand touched her face.</p>
<p>“Let's get her to surgery!” someone was shouting and she whined the last thing she wanted was yet another surgery to make the scars even worse but she supposed if it was between getting worse scars or dying she should probably pick the scars. “haven’t seen anyone as strong as you in awhile, you’re going to be just fine,” The same person was by her head and she was being wheeled away a mask on her face causing the world around her to fade.</p>
<p>Harry had nearly bitten his fingernails down as far as they could go without bleeding as he paced around the waiting room waiting for news on his wife. Louis was on the phone with Harry’s mother telling her to get the first flight out that she could because they’d need her here if something happened again or if things took a turn for the worse. Niall sat in the corner scrolling through twitter and texting with Kitten’s friend Melody who had taken care of her while she was in the hospital the first time. Sophia was sobbing her heart out and LIam’s eyes were red rimmed as well as they held on tight to each other. Two hours passed and there was still no news, harry was seconds away from going and demanding information but a knock on the door stopped him and a doctor walked in.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kitten came to she woke with pain in her stomach and fear clouding her afraid that it had all been dream that she was really still in the hospital millions of miles away from Harry. Snapping her eyes open she looked around letting out a sigh of relief because the hospital was different and that meant it was real, which was good...but also bad. A nurse was taping on a monitor before injecting something into her IV, smiling when she saw Kitten was awake. “Harry,” Kitten insisted and the nurse let out a soft laugh.</p><p>“I just sent someone to get him now, gave us a right scare you did,” Kitten liked her, she was kind and gentle and she seemed happy. She pouted her bottom lip out because she hadn’t meant to scare anyone.</p><p>“What happened?” She mumbled around the medication in her body, making it hard to talk coherently. The nurse smiled softly at the doped up girl on the bed picking up the chart at the end of the bed and flipping through making sure all the information was correct.</p><p>“A few of the stitches in your abdomen failed. The force of you vomiting broke them when it shouldn’t have and then on top of that a few staples came out, so you were bleeding pretty heavily when you got here,” Great and she’d promised Harry a few days ago that this was a near impossible situation. Now what kind of credit would her word have. “ We called Doctor Sanders to make sure there wasn’t something we missed taking care of you, he said he’d like you to call him as soon as possible,” The nurse set down the chart and looked towards the door as it opened. “I’ll give you guys a few moments,” She smiled stepping out of the room as her frantic husband stepped inside.</p><p>“Hey,” She cleared her throat trying to sound like she was slightly more with it than she felt. Wanting to be able to comfort her husband, trying to drive away the fuzz in her mind. Harry looked at this wife, not four hours ago she was bleeding to death on the floor of a bathroom and yet here she sat a smile on her face, talking like nothing happened. “M’ ok Haz, just a little much on my body I guess,” pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she looked at him.</p><p>“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” He huffed out though she could hear the tears and strain even if his tone was trying it’s best to be teasing. “Or louis, because I think he might have thrown up after we got you here safely…” Louis had run for the bathroom as soon as he arrived at the hospital before he’d made any phone calls. Harry could only assume he was vomiting, he sure felt like doing that exact thing.</p><p>“Don’t know what happened, the nurse said the internal stitches in my gut failed under the pressure of my stomach heaving to throw up. Harry I swear, Dr. sanders said that this kind of thing /didn’t/ happen. I wouldn’t have told you I was going to be fine if I’d have known this was a possibility!” he reached out running a knuckle against her cheek,leaning down to press a kiss against her forehead.</p><p>“Shh, baby. Hey i’m not mad at you because the stitches some one put in you failed,” She kind of felt like he should be. If she could have just kept it together then maybe they wouldn’t be here in a hospital bed. “The Doctor that came to talk to us, he was a surgeon I think, said that the stitches would have burst sooner or later because they weren't in correctly. He just said it was a good thing your heaving broke the staples and the glue that they’d put on your stomach so that the blood leaked out instead of just pooling in your abdomen until it was too late,” Well, that sounded absolutely horrifying.</p><p>“Really?” he nodded brushing her hair away from her face with a gentle swipe of his fingers.</p><p>“Mhm, they contacted your last Dr. Dr Sanders, he said the surgeon that had initial sewn you up had just been fired this morning for doing something similar in an appendix surgery. I think that’s why he wants you to call him, so he can apologize or whatever for not catching it,” She nodded slightly leaning more against his hand than anything else. Sometimes it all felt like too much, like none of it was actually real and it was so confusing when she was filled with pain medication to sort it all out.</p><p>“Huh, that’s stupid,” She mumbled turning her face to press her mouth against the palm of her Husband’s hand. “M’ sorry I freaked out at the conference,” Harry rose an eyebrow not moving though ,letting her muffle her words by speaking into his palm.</p><p>“I think you probably freaked out the least of all of us, besides Niall,” He laughed.shaking his head at the way her nose crinkled up, like she was debating weather or not to argue on that point. “Soph slapped the hostess,” Kitten's eyes widened and she shook her head, there was no way innocent little Sophia would ever hit anyone. “No joke, the only reason there are no charges pressed is because apparently Preston is the best smooth talker around,” His voice was light but no matter how light he tried to make it there was still that fear struggling to break through.</p><p>“mok Harry,” He opened his mouth to speak and she covered his mouth with her hand before he could. “Stop, I know technically this isn’t ok. I know being in a hospital bed doesn’t mean ok,” he grunted against her palm and she shook her head raising an eyebrow at him. “But for me? Right now? I’m ok, I’m not bleeding to death any more and I won’t, it won't happen again. They went in and put like ten million new stitches in not to mention the new staples,” she scrunched her nose up again at the thought of how hideous her stomach would be after it all healed. “And extremely strict orders, such as we have to find a nurse that’s willing to travel with us in case I need something,” Harry hummed against her palm raising his own eyebrows at her until she drew her hand away from his face.</p><p>“Getting you a nurse is absolutely no issue at all, did they say how long they’d need to keep you?” He barely got the question out before the door was being swung open and their friends barreled through.</p><p>“Get off my pudding Tomlinson! You were just barfing!” Sophia barked pulling her chocolate pudding (thankfully unopened) against her chest glaring at the blue eyed male pouting. Clearly they’d been told she was alright or there was no way they’d be this happy.</p><p>“Don’t even think about it Tommo, this is for Kit. The nurse said she can have all the soft food she wants and she loves pudding, so step away,” Niall glared as Louis turned towards him going to snatch one of the three pudding cups he was craddling to his chest.</p><p>“You are my favorite person ever,” Harry let out a whine. “after my husband of course,” She leaned up kissing him lightly before relaxing back against the bed. “Get in here and give me the pudding!” Niall smiled softly walking up to the other side of the bed and pulling the little tray thing over to where she was and set the puddings down for her.</p><p>“Doc says we can have her back tomorrow afternoon,” Liam added as he wrapped his arms around his wife protecting her from Louis’ grabby hands at the pudding. “As long as we promise to make her take it easy and no more press conferences,” He hummed. “Tomlinson I swear you steal her pudding and make her cry and I’ll make you cry,” Kitten stifled a giggle as she shoved a bite of pudding in her mouth. She absolutely adored when Liam got protective of Sophia, just like she adored when Harry got that way with her. Come to think of it Sophia and Kitten seemed to be the band wives and not just one person’s woman any more. It was a very complicated dynamic.</p><p>“I just want some pudding! come on!” he whined and Kitten picked up a cup and nudged harry with it motioning for him to give it to Louis. Harry looked at the pudding and then at his healing wife before rolling his eyes and taking it.</p><p>“I swear,” He shook his head pushing the pudding cup to Louis’ chest. “You are a child, how did you end up being the child of the band? Niall and I are younger than you!” the elder man just stuck his tongue out blowing a kiss to Kitten before uncapping the pudding and beginning to shovel it into his mouth.</p><p>“Louis, babe don't’ eat so fast. You’ll get sick again,” She would ever be mothering these boys no matter what the situation was. No matter the fact that her and Louis were only months apart him being older than her. Without her especially with Liam becoming Louis’ partner in crime lately, they’d be an absolute mess most of the time.</p><p>“I feel fine, Just was a bit sick after seeing all that blood. Once I knew you were fine I was fine,” He spoke around a mouthful of pudding and Sophia groaned balling up a napkin and throwing it at Louis’ head.</p><p>“You are so gross!” Liam’s wife whined having shoved her husband into one of the hospital chairs so she could sit down on his lap and eat her pudding while still being able to look at Kitten.</p><p>“He’s cute,” She laughed at the looks she got, Louis smiling as smugly as he could manage “What 3 year old isn’t cute?” his smug smile formed into a pout as the rest laughed and agreed.</p><p>“I hate to be the one to suck the fun out of all of this,” Niall hummed leaning up against one of the hospital walls. “But we are going to have to find someone to interview us and the girls so that we can get our band plans and any important information any one else needs to know,” Kitten hummed around her spoon, Harry’s hand was in her hair again stopping by her ear and rubbing the shell of her ear like he often did when he was anxious.</p><p>“What about Nicholas?” That was a shocking suggestion from the man licking his now empty pudding container. Child. He was absolutely a man child.</p><p>“Grimmy?” Her husband’s hand slowly went back to combing through her hair at the mention of his friend and favorite radio DJ turned x-factor judge.</p><p>“I don’t know any other,” Louis grunted staring desperately at the empty container like he was begging it to have more pudding in it. Unfortunately for him pudding was not magically appearing any time soon.</p><p>“You hate him, what would be the point of that?” Niall raise an eyebrow in Louis direction only to receive a balled up pudding cup to the head.</p><p>“I don’t hate him, I find him and his pretentious hipster self annoying. There is a difference,” Kitten never would understand the odd relationship between Louis and Nick, she had a distinct feeling it had to do with feeling a little left behind when Harry had first become friends with Nick. She’d felt that way for a while too until Harry had included her and she knew Harry had been making an effort lately to share his outside friends with his mates.</p><p>“It’s not a bad idea, Grim loves Kitten,” Harry hummed grabbing a hospital chair and pulling it up to the bed so he could sit down and still touch his wife even if it meant he had to stop petting her hair. It was probably best he sat down after all the drama he’d dealt with today.</p><p>“Because she let him live with you guys for a year!” Louis argued and Kitten settled him with a motherly look before he grunted. “Anyway, the point is he can be trusted right? We don’t have to worry about him going off the rail and throwing accusations in her face or at us, He’s your friend before he’s anything else. He wouldn’t risk his friendship to make an interesting interview to post to the BBC1 youtube,”No matter how much Louis insisted on hating Nick he’d just made it very clear (even on accident) that he trusted the man and that was huge.</p><p>“It was 6 months Louis, his boyfriend crushed his heart and threw him out. I wasn’t just going to let him house hop until he could find a new place,” She scolded and Louis just stuck his tongue out.</p><p>“No he’s right,”</p><p>“what about the house thing?” Harry shook his head at his wife laughing a bit, the pain medications obviously making everything a bit harder to follow than normal. She was usually very quick to pick up on a change in the conversation or a redirect of it.</p><p>“About Grim interviewing us,” ugh, Sometimes she hated pain medication. Always made time slow down and so many things hard to follow. “It’ll be a radio interview that’s live streamed on the net, there wouldn’t be any crowds in the studio to worry about, and Grimmy wouldn’t ever risk Kitten’s comfort to make an interesting bit.” Harry paused and looked at Louis a smug smile on his face but Kitten’s hand coming over his mouth stopped the next sentence from coming out.</p><p>“Do not give him trouble over saying he trusted Nick or I will give you a hard time over admitting you sing Taylor swift in the kitchen making dinner,” She warned and even though everyone else in the room wanted to make fun of Harry for that, they knew if she was threatening him about it they should probably leave it where it was.</p><p>“Mean,” He mumbled against her hand licking her palm and she just rose an eyebrow challenging him because, her husband licking her palm was not something that grossed her out. Louis’ phone rang loudly and scared everyone in the room and he looked apologetic before answering it. His voice was quiet even though the room was looking at him expectedly.</p><p>“It’s your mom Haz, she’s just calling to get the news on Kit,” She smiled gently, Harry’s family always cared about her. Though if it hadn’t been Harry’s family she wouldn’t have lived past 16 and she’d forever be grateful to them. “ She says your sister got on a flight yesterday evening and forgot to tell you she lands at the airport...downtown...in an hour,”Harry groaned leaning back in his chair. The last thing he wanted to was be away from his wife.</p><p>“Tell her no worries, We’ll get Gem here safe,” Niall nodded towards Kitten as she spoke. Even if that meant one of them leaving the hospital to go get the girl who happened to be pretty close to Kitten.</p><p>“She wants to talk to you Kit, s’that ok?” Louis nodded towards the phone and then looked at her for an answer and she hummed reaching a hand out for the phone.</p><p>“Suppose I could for a bit, might fall asleep on her though,” She really hated pain meds. Especially since all she really wanted to do was close her eyes but she should probably talk to Harry’s mother and let her know she was ok.</p><p>“How about I talk to her, you should probably get some sleep love,” Harry hummed looking at his wife worry laced in his tone and she frowned but at the same time he was right. All she wanted was a little sleep. Harry waited until she closed her eyes to take the phone and step out of the room to talk to his mother. The others watched as Kitten’s breath evened out.</p><p>“I really don’t have any idea how she does it,” Sophia spoke up quietly looking at the hospital bed. The girl laying in it looking vulnerable and small even though when she was awake she was the complete opposite. Though she was always vulnerable she was confident when she needed to be and never wanted anyone to worry over her. “Not only has she survived the vicious cruelty of the fans but she looked that horrid bitch in the face all while her body was coming apart at the seams literally. Yet when we come in here she’s not crying, or even looking upset she’s smiling and joking and simply demanding pudding,” Liam set his head against Sophia’s shoulder.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s who she is, who she’s always been. Doesn’t ever want someone to worry over her, never let someone else's brutality make her bitter,” Louis looked to the bed though his hands were still shaking the image of all the blood she’d had on her still in his head. “Strong girl,” he hummed softly scrubbing at his eyes jumping slightly when a feminine arm slung around his shoulders. He hadn’t heard Sophia move! damnit how were these girls so stealthy.</p><p>“Lou,” She hummed lightly wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him in for a hug. “You saved her life, your quick thinking and Niall’s ability to jump in and help saved her life. Harry couldn’t think past her face and she’d needed you then more than ever and you came through,” Louis let out a pained noise in the back of his throat pressing his head against his friend’s wife’s neck. “She’s going to be ok Lou, the doc said so himself. They put twenty new stitches in and like twice as much glue. It’s going to be ok now louis,” Liam hummed affirmation of what his wife was saying to his friend.</p><p>“What if it’s not?”He mumbled into her neck. “What if it happens again, what if those girls find her again, what if other fans are inspired by them and come after you? All of this because of something I can’t stop because I looked at Harry wrong while we were in the x-factor house. All of this because I denied it every swing I got,”Sophia pulled his head away from her shoulder and frowned. She was afraid of the fans coming after her too but Louis wasn’t to blame for thi, he hadn’t caused this.</p><p>“It’s not your fault,” Niall's voice was calm but assertive. “Deny it or not, look at Harry don’t look at him, act like friends or don’t. Those people don’t care Louis, they’ve created this place in their heads and they manipulate other fans into believing what they do. they recruit young fans. It’s an extremely sick thing,” Louis rubbed his eyes, it didn’t help to know any of that.</p><p>“I don’t know what to do any more. They threw hate at Eleanor until she left me, they throw hate at my sisters and now this? They’ve carved my denial into her body! Maybe I just should have let it happen, maybe I just should have taken harry’s route and ignored it,”He hated that he was crying but he couldn’t help the feelings piling up inside him.</p><p>“I didn’t ignore it Louis,” They all jumped slightly when Harry reentered the room at precisely the right time.</p><p>“But you said, you’ve never...it’s…” Louis stumbled over his words trying to find which ones he wanted to say.</p><p>“I said in the press conference that ‘we’ made the choice to ignore it,” The curly haired boy motioned to the bed. “That was all her, it drove me crazy. There were nights I found her sitting on tumblr reading message after message about how fake our relationship was and no matter what she did they would never believe I could be with someone like her,” He laughed bitterly. “I tried so many times to get on twitter and post or go into an interview and scream but she wouldn’t let me. Took my phone from me, changed my twitter password all the time, just kept telling me it didn’t matter because we knew the truth,” he shook his head. “She’d seen the threat on her life a few weeks ago, someone sent it in a youtube video to her via twitter. We’d notified security and the police but we figured it was teenage girls being...weird and angry at the world,”</p><p>“Couldn’t the police do something?” Louis sniffled trying to force his tears away from his face. Harry felt angry so very angry about all of this.</p><p>“They could have,” he sucked in a deep breath looking at Kitten lying on the hospital bed and shook his head. “They wouldn’t, I told her it was that there was no legal basis to arrest them on. That’s not the truth. We went to the police and gave a statement, two days later the lead detective called me,” his fingers twitched in agitation at the memory of the words from the obviously sexist investigator.</p><p>“What do you mean that’s not the truth? You mean they could have prevented this?!” LIam’s voice broke into the conversation, his eyes bloodshot but not because he’d been crying but because he was so overwhelmed with all of this. Now the information that someone could have stopped this before it ever happened. Echoing around in everyone's mind.Harry had never dreamed he would even have to be having this conversation. His wife laying on the bed asleep from pain killers trying to hold her body together as it heals.</p><p>“Yeah,” Louis looked fit to murder someone and Niall was still standing against the wall simply looking between Harry and his wife. “When we took it to them, it didn’t have details. There was no ‘ we are going to carve it into her skin or slit her throat’ it was just general threats against her life. Normally you know we just brush that stuff off, it comes unfortunately with being who we are,” Harry had learned to ignore the threats against his wife but these had been so much different. “But these girls, it was a group of 6 girls,”</p><p>“One for each word,” Louis spat and Harry simply nodded. That seemed to be exactly write each of them having their own dedication to torture her.</p><p>“mhm, The oldest was 21 and i think the youngest was 15. The 21 year old being the one we met at the conference, the ringleader of the whole thing,” He ran his fingers through his hair blaming himself just as Louis was for this happening. “They were actually talking about dismembering Kitten in fairly graphic terms or kidnapping her and torturing her until they got the ‘proof’ they needed for all their Larry beliefs. We showed the video to the police, they weren’t impressed,”</p><p>“Why the fuck not?!” Liam burst out and Kitten stirred on the hospital bed her eyebrows drawing together in discomfort. The enraged male quickly quieted himself, not wanting to wake the female.</p><p>“When the detective called me he said it was just ‘girls being catty because that’s what girls did’ and that he wasn’t willing to ruin the lives of six girls just because they’d made threats. That Kitten needed to stop being so sensitive and suck it up,” The detective clearly hadn’t cared very much for dealing with any of it. He’d insisted too much paper work, not enough evidence.</p><p>“He can’t do that though, he can’t just decide like that,” Sophia looked confused between the boys. “My dad’s a lawyer Haz, I’ve grown up around a lot of legal education. You can’t just decide you don’t want to do something about a threat like that,” The worn out husband gave her a gentle smile. Harry had forgotten that Sophia’s dad was a lawyer...that would definitely come in handy.</p><p>“I wasn’t clear on the laws, so I backed off. I increased security around the house and around Kitten, hardly ever leaving her side,” he looked back as the injured woman let out a small whine in her sleep. “The day I left for tour, three days before it happened. She practically had Dale drag me onto the airplane. I didn’t want to leave her side, he assured me she’d be safe and they hadn’t come after her yet so why would they now?” Louis grunted and Harry simply flipped him off, he didn’t need the unwarranted irritation at him at the moment.</p><p>“Why didn’t she have a guard with her that day?” Niall spoke up his arms still crossed over his chest looking away from his group of friends and to his friend on the bed. He was usually the first one to let things go, to move on and deal with things in a positive manner but the last few days he’d been nothing but serious.</p><p>“I don’t know, Dillian was supposed to be with her anytime she left the house,” his brows furrowed because he distinctly remembered having that discussion with the bodyguard. Niall had brought up a question Harry hadn’t thought to ask yet. “She wasn’t to be alone at any time,” He glanced back at the bed. “I doubt she would have told him not to come with her, she was as freaked out as I was about the threats,”</p><p>“Well maybe one of us should ask her when she wakes up,” Louis suggested and Harry nodded. “Also, I want the name of the detective you spoke with. The one that turned your case away. Sophia and I will start the legal ball rolling. You, Liam, and Niall can deal with the failed security end of it. Decide what you’d like to do about that,” It was times like this that Harry was grateful for his friends. They stepped up when he didn’t know what to do in so many situations and he couldn’t ever thank the enough.</p><p>When Kitten woke back up it was to soft murmurs around her like the world was a little to far away to completely understand. The drugs they had her on of great quality to knock her out as hard as they had. She wondered what time it was and how close she was to being able to leave the hospital. Hospitals were quite possibly her absolute least favorite thing on the planet. Blinking she tilted her head towards the noise her eyes struggling to open all the way with the force of medication still running through her veins.</p><p>“Hey beautiful,” She hummed, Harry was right next to her and she did love waking up to hearing his voice. It didn’t matter what kind of mood he was in or what he was saying, she loved the sound of his voice. Craved it, she was addicted to it. “You’ve been asleep since yesterday shortly after you got here,” he didn’t sound upset about it and that was good. She surely hadn’t meant to sleep that long. She didn’t even know she could sleep that long.</p><p>“Sorry,” she mumbled her mouth dry a bit, grunting as she moved around a bit on the bed to wake herself up. “Didn’t mean to sleep that long,” bringing her good hand up, she scrubbed the last bits of sleep from her eyes.</p><p>“You need to stop apologizing for things baby,” He laughed and she pouted out her bottom lip it was her first instinct to apologize, it’d been in her nature for awhile. It wasn’t a habit she’d ever intended to form, it was something she’d been taught. Too many failed relationships and toxic people in her life taught her that everything was her fault and she constantly needed to apologize. She didn’t think it was something that would ever change, like it was burned into her brain to apologize for life.</p><p>“The nurse says as soon as she’s up we can get moving. Papers are all signed and everything, Paul’s got a team ready to get us out of here and back to the hotel,” She scrunched her face up in confusion for a brief moment before realizing that was Louis talking. Honestly, she didn’t want to go back to the hotel, she wanted to go home or somewhere that she could just be with Harry and be safe. That’d be a nice little break from all of this.</p><p>“I’m awake,” She hummed looking at her husband drinking in his features, the bags under his eyes and the over all tired expression but beyond that the desperate concern to keep her safe. That unwavering love that she’d never understand how she’d deserved someone like that in her life. No he hadn’t been able to protect her from this but it wasn’t his fault and she knew he’d be damned if someone ever hurt her again.</p><p>“Awesome, I’ll go get the others. Think they all went down to get food….again,” Louis rolled his eyes before stepping back out of the room leaving the couple alone. Harry looked down at his wife only to find her staring back at him like she couldn’t believe he was there.</p><p>“You ok baby?” Ok was a relative term really, also probably not the best question but she knew what he was asking. It probably looked weird with her staring into his face like she’d never seen it before but hey she’d almost died twice in the last two weeks and that made her appreciate him even more.</p><p>“Yeah, just really love you,” she smiled feeling the sting of tears in her eyes. “Thought I wasn’t ever going to see you again,” Harry’s whole body tensed at the admission and she faltered for a moment before realizing he wasn’t angry just sad that she’d ended up in this situation. “Didn’t want that panicked man's face to be the thing I died remembering,” Harry leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. presumably to get her to stop talking about the whole ‘almost dying thing’ but it felt nice none the less. His lips felt so soft against her own chapped lips and she could kiss him forever, unfortunately he pulled away before she continue with the kiss.</p><p>“Where was Dillon Kit? He was supposed to be with you any time you left the house, Luke was your dedicated driver and Dillon was to be at your side,” He wondered and she closed her eyes as if she couldn’t or didn’t want to answer that question.</p><p>“Haz, it’s not Dillon's fault. What or where he was doesn’t really matter does it?” She asked keeping her eyes closed. The answer only confusing her husband even further. What did she mean it didn’t matter. It mattered a whole fucking lot where he was.</p><p>“If Dillon had been with you none of this would have happened! He would have been there to get you to safety.” Her husbands voice sounded so frantic and borderline hysteric. How was she supposed to tell him what happened. It would just crush him further.</p><p>“Haz, please. I don’t...this is already traumatic enough for all of us, does it really matter that much?” she wasn’t beyond pleading but when she opened her eyes she was met with the view of her husband’s eyes welling up with tears his hand stroking through her hair.</p><p>“Yeah, it does matter. Baby I don’t know why you think you have to protect him right now but you don’t, I need to know where he was. I promise I won’t fire him or press charges or anything,” He begged and she felt her resolve slowly breaking. He probably would fire him and press charges after she told him where he’d been during the whole thing.</p><p>“Harry,” she swallowed the lump in her throat closing her eyes again unable to look at him. She didn’t want to go over this again, didn’t want to feel the betrayal all over again or see it on her husband's face. “He /was/ with me,” she could hear footsteps entering the room but Harry was shushing the, his eyes boring a hole into her head.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. open wounds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Harry,” she swallowed the lump in her throat closing her eyes again unable to look at him. She didn’t want to go over this again, didn’t want to feel the betrayal all over again or see it on her husband's face. “He /was/ with me,” she could hear footsteps entering the room but Harry was shushing the, his eyes boring a hole into her head.</p><p>“What do you mean he was with you?! If he was with you why didn’t he stop them!?”A sob fell from her lips before she could stop it, she knew he wasn’t trying to push her over the edge right now and he was just desperate for answers. “He was supposed to stand guard!” she let out a harsh laugh.</p><p>“Oh trust me he did,” she shook her head reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose refusing to open her eyes and see the confusion and worry bouncing around the faces of the people she loved.</p><p>“Kitten, for the love of god where was Dillon,” His voice sounded so broken down, she supposed the press would get ahold of this detail eventually. It was probably better he hear it from her than from the media when they discovered it.</p><p>“Two of them were his daughters,” it felt like time stopped. “He was there, he’d convinced me I needed to get a few more things from the drugstore and I was talking with him when I was grabbed I screamed out for him, only to see him getting in a car and letting two more girls out before driving off telling them to be safe,” she cried. “Ok? this wasn’t some accident, this wasn’t some random pull with random girls, it was planned out to be when you left, it was all fucking planned,” It was almost as if she could hear her heart shattering in pieces at the sudden silence in the room.</p><p>“So this was,” Liam cleared his voice and she still couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes and look at anyone in the room. “an inside job? a premeditated plan by someone we trusted to watch out for you?” She let out another sob curling herself away from where she knew her husband was still standing. Kitten didn’t want to talk about this, didn’t want to have to feel or acknowledge the reality of it. She’d been doing so well convincing herself that they were strangers that it had been a spur of the moment idea of some very twisted minds. This derailed everything.</p><p>“Was it just him?” Louis’ voice felt harsh on her ears, a tone of anger to it that she didn’t want to hear or deal with. “was it just him and his daughters involved that we know? or are there more?” she jumped when she felt a soft hand on her cheek, it wasn’t Harry’s it was feminine and cold. Sophia standing next to her as if to protect her from questioning like she’d done the first day she’d arrived in bandages.</p><p>“It’s alright Kit, it’s gonna be ok, no one's mad at you,” Her voice was welcomed into Kitten’s mind offering a slight sooth to the burning pain of all of this. “We just need to know what we are dealing with yeah? that’s all babe,” Her reassurance eased Kitten a bit but not very much, especially since Harry hadn’t said a word.</p><p>“Two of them were his girls, one of them was one of Blake’s daughters and two of them were Derriks daughters. The 21 year old just happens to be good family friends with all of them,”She covered her face the best she could with her hands wanting to scrub at her tears and at the same time needing to hide.</p><p>“Three, three guards in total, right?” Louis pushed and she felt Sophia let go of her for a second probably sending Louis an overly scolding look. “Soph we need to make sure that's what she’s saying, I’m not accusing her of lying,” Yes apparently a scolding look was exactly what Sophia was giving him.</p><p>“Yes,” she mumbled into her hands the cast on her wrist getting in the way of trying to scrub her hands across her eyes in an attempt to make it all go away.</p><p>“This wasn’t strangers? Those girls in the video talking about dismembering you weren’t strangers? They were children of our security? It wasn’t….these weren’t girls that just….I….”Harry's voice was tight and then suddenly it was gone, followed by heavy footsteps out of the room.</p><p>“Harry! You can’t just….” Louis shouted and then more footsteps and his words faded away as he exited. She finally opened her eyes to be met with Niall, Sophia and Liam, her heart throbbing away in her chest because her husband had run away, quite literally when he’d found out the truth. It stung a bit more than it should, reasonably she knew he was probably shocked and overwhelmed but to have him just run out when she was so clearly afraid of telling him in the first place hurt.</p><p>“Come on sweetheart, let's get you dressed so we can get you back to the hotel. Gemma’s waiting there for us. Soph and I went and got her while you were sleeping yesterday, she wanted to come but we told her you’d be back to the hotel today and convinced her that it was alright. She is getting a bit antsy to see you though,” Liam bless his soul was trying, he was trying so hard to wrap a bandage around the break in her heart Harry had just caused by running out on her when she needed him. She really loved her friends, didn’t know what she’d do without them at this point.</p><p>“I brought some loose clothes, one of Louis’ shirts because that’ll be loose without swallowing you or being too big, a pair of my joggers and I know they will fit your hips but be loose on your legs,” Sophia was digging through a backpack just going with the tone LIam was trying to put back into the room as if Harry hadn’t just abandon her to deal with his own feelings instead of standing by her.</p><p>“Brought you my hoodie as well if you’d like that is,” Niall’s voice was extremely soft and close to her, turning her head she jumped a little realizing he was standing right up against her hospital bed. He looked somewhere between angry and sad, it was troubling look on someone who was usually so light and carefree.</p><p>“Thanks, um,” She looked around the room feeling tears bite at her eyes because she couldn’t really change on her own. Too much bending and putting pressure in odd spots and tension on the staples holding her body together. “I was going to ask Harry and Louis and Soph because they helped last time but...seeing as Harry’s….” She swallowed a lump in her throat “busy, and so is Louis would you guys mind helping me get changed?” Liam’s face tinted a bit pink but it always did when their was going to be nudity involved and really it was only going to be her breasts exposed. Unable to wear a bra with the wounds the way they were,it would be much to painful. She was however wearing underwear.</p><p>“‘’Course babe, that’s what we are here for,” Sophia was stepping up and offering her arms for Kitten to lean on as the injured girl sat up on the hospital bed trying not to pull faces at how much it hurt. The nurse stepped in giving a hesitant smile to the thee in the room noticing a distinct lack of the husband.</p><p>“Came to take out the iv so you can leave,” The nurse’s hands were extremely tender as they maneuvered her arm to take the iv out. “All done love,” Kitten just nodded as the nurse wrapped a purple bandage around it looking apologetically at her as she winced slightly. “I’ll leave you be, you take care sweetie,” Kitten hummed a soft thank you before turning to Sophia.</p><p>“Looks like it’s changing time,” Her smile was crooked and not really all there or all that believable she imagined. It was all she could give at the moment, Sophia just smiled and nodded towards Niall and the two began undoing the ties on each side of her gown. Liam was still blushing as he held the close in his hands. “Liam,” she let out a soft laugh seeing his face. “You can go find Louis and my husband if you’d like. I think Sophia and Niall have this, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Sophia turned to her husband for a moment letting out a small laugh of her own as she turned her attention back to the stubborn ties.</p><p>“I’m not uncomfortable,” he stammered and she rose an eyebrow at him, trying to convey with another lopsided smile that she wasn’t going to be upset he couldn’t handle seeing her breasts.</p><p>“Liam, if your face turns any redder I fear it might explode. Go, it’s alright. I’m not upset with you,” he opened his mouth to argue but she held up a hand in a stop motion. “Liam Payne do not argue with me, I do not want your head exploding all over my clean clothes, go,” Liam looked like he might challenge her for a brief second and then set the clothes down on the bed and stepped out of the room.</p><p>“He can’t handle seeing breasts, when girls flash him in crowds or they ask him to sign their chest his whole chest, neck, and face turn this lovely shade of dark red,” Niall laughed as they finally slipped the gown off her body and began to work on getting the shirt and pants on very slowly ,the shirt obviously going on first since she’d have to stand up to get the pants on. She hoped they brought her sandals, the idea of putting on shoes felt like a lot of work. “Sometimes he gets that way when I’m just changing in front of him, that boy and breasts, I don’t understand. He’s cute though so I’ll keep him,” Kitten let out a very faint laugh.</p><p>“Hazza used to blush when we first got together, it was a nervous thing or an overwhelmed thing. He explained it like how some guys get a bloody nose when they see something that turns them on or overwhelms them, the blood just rushes where ever it can,” It was a fond memory of them sitting in the bed after their wedding night. A tender moment between the two of them, her drawing patterns on his chest asking about it and him doing everything in his power to explain it in a way she’d understand. It was things like that, that made her love him so much.</p><p>“Pansies the lot of them,” Niall teased finally speaking, as he held her hips helping her to stand up so they could pull up the joggers. She nodded her head in agreement of course it was good natured she didn’t really think Harry was a pansy for being overwhelmed by her body. It made her feel good, she wondered if he’d ever feel that in a positive way ever again. The thought alone had tears gathering in her eyes again.</p><p>“Hey, it’s alright Kit. Everything’s going to be alright,” Sophia soothed brushing a stray tear that had started to fall. She wasn’t sure she believed the girl especially after hearing her husband run out of the room when she spoke about it in a bit more detail then she had.</p><p>“He’s a dick for running out, there’s not denying that but he’ll come back. He kind of has to at this point we have all his things, including his sister,” Niall meant that to be teasing but that was really not very helpful. The idea that Harry only had to come back to her because her things and his things were mixed together hurt so much. Sophia reached out and smacked him in the chest.</p><p>“Get the sandals and stop trying to cheer her up you are doing an absolutely horrid job,” She let out a broken semi laugh agreeing with Sophia. Also perking up at the fact that they’d brought her sandals instead of tennis shoes. She didn’t need that hastle. The blonde pulled a face sticking his tongue out as he grabbed the pink sandals out of the bag and walked over putting them on the floor. Him and Sophia both helped her into each one just as Liam was re entering the room with a wheelchair. Unfortunately Louis and Harry were nowhere to be seen and the look on Liam’s face told her that her husband wasn’t coming back to help her out of the hospital.</p><p>“Where are Louis and Harry?”Niall’s tone was deadly, like he couldn’t believe they weren’t here to help her get out of the hospital and to the hotel.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Louis is talking to Preston about making sure the path to the car is clear,” Liam threw out like he could distract everyone from the fact that Harry was missing from that.</p><p>“Li, where’s Harry? He left didn’t he?” Her heart was pounding in her chest like it might bust out of her rib cage. She needed him so bad right now and he wasn’t there, he wasn’t letting her see the parts of him that she needed to see, the broken parts. The parts that helped them get through it together, instead he’d left her alone in an abyss of her own broken feelings. Doing exactly what she’d been afraid of in the beginning.</p><p>“He left, Louis tried to stop him. Unfortunately Harry practically punched Louis in the face and him and Dale took off towards a waiting car. They had to call another one for you since he took the car that was meant for you. I don’t know where he’s going Kit and he threw his phone at Louis so the only way to contact him is through Dale. And you know how loyal Dale is, he wouldn’t give Harry up,” Liam grumbled and Kitten swore she just saw her life crumbling before her.</p><p>“He left?” she repeated she knew the answer to the question and it hurt her throat repeating it but it was like she needed more confirmation. As if on cue a fuming Louis walked back into the room Preston behind him looking a bit miffed himself.</p><p>“Let get you going, yeah? There isn’t a crowd yet and I’d like to get moving before there is one,” He was right down to business and she just looked at him, noticing a slight bruise on Louis face. Apparently Liam had been wrong when he had said ‘practically’ hit Louis in the face, clearly he’d made contact. She felt sick.</p><p>“Come on babe,” Niall was at her side nudging her out of Sophia’s arms with a sympathetic glance at the girl who let out a small protest but let it happen. Sometimes Niall could calm her in ways the others couldn’t like he could ground her a bit when Harry let her down and Louis was too worked up to aid like she needed.</p><p>“Ni, He left. He punched Louis in the face and he left,”Niall didn’t respond just pulled her a bit closer before lowering her into the wheelchair. She could feel the tears rolling down her face, no longer caring who saw her cry. The pain too much to try and bare with out a few tears.Niall bent down in front of her wheelchair to brush some tears off her face.</p><p>“Don’t you worry about that, I’ll handle that. I want you to focus on you and getting to the hotel at the moment,” She glared at him and he sighed. “I know babe, I know. I can’t fix it and I wish I could but I promise you I will find him and possibly maim him a bit before bringing him back,” She wanted to laugh or roll her eyes all she could do was slump a bit in the wheelchair and look at her hands, that were shaking.</p><p>“Moving, we need to get moving,” Louis was being a bit snippy and the urge to tell him it was ok, it didn’t matter if there was a crowd or how fast they moved. NOne of it mattered.</p><p>“Snap at us one more time Tomlinson and I’ll deck you in the face,” Sophia threatened and that quieted the room for a moment, Kitten could see Louis deflate a little at Sophia’s threat while Liam looked somewhere between mildly confused and concerned she might actually punch Louis. “She doesn’t need you being a dick on top of all of this so knock the shit off, or I swear to god no one will be able to save you from my wrath,” Sophia’s voice was like steel, hard and a bit cold like she didn’t trust anyone but maybe Niall with Kitten at the moment. The warning clearly extending to everyone in the room, Preston, Liam, even Niall (who she appeared to be having the least problem with at the moment) and Louis. It was a blanket threat and she meant every word of it.</p><p>“On that frightening and slightly disturbing note, the cars are ready and Gemma has promised to nurture us if we don’t get Kitten back soon. I don’t know about you all but I’d prefer to keep my balls where they are,”Liam grunted looking at his phone that had just gone off with yet another text from Gemma. Apparently everyone was in a threatening mood today. Sophia just looked smug that Gemma appeared to be on her side.</p><p>“And off we go,” Niall muttered pushing the wheelchair out of the hospital room a few of the nurses at the desk waving as she left telling her to feel better and take care of herself. She appreciated their wishes.</p><p>“Dr. Sanders is flying out tomorrow morning, he’s dropped everything after getting the call from the hospital. He wants to take care of you himself, make sure you are getting proper care and treatment. He’s vowed to stay with us until you are good enough to be on your own without risk of infection or breaking staples,” Louis shuddered at the thought of it and She looked at him kind of surprised. Sure Dr. sanders had been a very sweet man and had stayed nights he was supposed to be home with his family watching her vitals and medications, but she’d never expected him to go so far above and beyond his call of duty. She appreciated it though.</p><p>“At least he’s familiar with all of it. Won’t have to brief a new nurse or doctor on everything, you all can thank him for convincing me to stick in the hospital even though I wanted to leave before I was ready,” Her voice was still layered in pain and broken parts but also appreciation and shock at this Dr. She really hoped his wife and kids didn’t hate her for this, though according to him he was in the middle of a divorce any way so he had no reason to be home as it was.</p><p>“Remind me to kiss his feet when he gets here,” Sophia teased as they arrived at the car, Niall and her stepping over to Kitten and lifting her slowly so she could stand and climb into the car. Once she was settled Sophia and Niall climbed in after her. Louis didn’t looked thrilled at not being able to ride with Kitten clearly but Sophia wasn’t leaving Kitten’s side any time soon and it appeared that neither was Niall.</p><p>The ride back to the hotel was quiet with the exception of an occasional sniffle that she couldn’t help. She knew she shouldn’t be crying, it would just make all her pain magnified it always did but her body wouldn’t allow her to stop.When the car pulled up to the hotel Sophia and Liam got out first, thankfully this time there weren’t any fans or media waiting for her to arrive and scream at her or for her husband. She refused the wheelchair she was offered when they got inside claiming it felt better to be standing, that wasn’t a complete lie it did alleviate some of the pressure on her stomach . It wasn’t the complete truth either but no one argued with her simply helped her hobble into the elevator and up to the room. She leaned on Niall as he slid the card into the slot and pushed the door open when it clicked.</p><p>“I think you can have more pain meds when we get you settled,”Sophia hummed as if trying to comfort Kitten. Though the pain killers would dull the throbbing throughout her body, they wouldn’t be able to dull the pain that her husband had just dug deep into her heart.</p><p>“Pain killers are my friend,” she sniffled and Niall huffed rolling his eyes affectionately at the injured girl.</p><p>“Is that my favorite sister in law in the world!” Gemma was completely over excited at the moment, Kitten wished everyone felt that way when they saw her. It made her feel just a tiny bit better.</p><p>“I’m your only sister in law Gem,” She rubbed reached her non casted hand to her face brushing the tears away trying to keep them in. Gemma had caught the tears before she could have stopped them any way, her eyes probably gave it away. Oh well.</p><p>“Yes, that doesn’t mean you have to be my favorite,” She was frowning and looking behind Kitten like she was trying to find Harry and the tears started to fall again.</p><p>“You can greet her in a sec Gem, we need to get her laying down a bit so we can get pain meds in her. Then possibly try to convince her to eat something more than a milkshake and fruit. I didn’t know you could survive off a diet like that,” Niall teased, again that wasn’t completely true, occasionally Kitten actually ate real food like meat and salads or nuggets from Wendy’s because those were her favorite.not every day though, eating hurt a bit right now and the dr had suggested easy foods and fruits were. He’d given her supplements to take care of her other bodily needed nutrients until she could handle a nutrient rich diet again.</p><p>“Dr. Sanders said I didn’t have to eat! I have a suitcase full of magic pills that give me what I need except for water which I get in fruit, Milkshakes have milk there for protein, therefore making them healthy for me. So suck it Horan,” She didn’t sound nearly as joyful or playful as she’d wanted but it’d gotten the message across because sophia and Gemma were both laughing and Niall simply pouted.</p><p>“Why are we telling Niall to suck it and what is ‘it’ exactly,” Louis’ voice came from somewhere behind her as Niall and Sophia helped her over to the couch. pushing the urge away to shove them away and tell them to leave her be she could do it herself, she allowed them to set pillows up and arrange her injured body like the doctor had recommended.</p><p>“It is my nonexistent dick and because he’s bashing my milkshakes,” She grunted making sure to pout her bottom lip out, it slightly wobbling because her body was still trying not to start crying again. She’d hoped maybe Harry would magically appear with Louis and Liam but no one had, there was no one behind them.</p><p>“Delightful,” Louis rose an eyebrow between Kitten’s pouting face and Niall’s overly affectionate exasperated face. “Milkshakes are healthy for her, Dr. Sanders and me mum said so, it’s a source of protein,” Kitten laughed and smiled at Louis but it didn’t reach her eyes, somehow still searching behind him for her husband. His face instantly fell realizing what she was doing. “Kit, he’s not here. He’s not coming in, I don’t even know where he is,” She snapped her eyes shut and her hands flew up to her face again.</p><p>“Where’s my brother?” Gemma finally asked picking up on the distinct lack of irritation from her little brothers presences. Kitten let out a sob that sounded a bit like a laugh and they all paused and looked at her for a minute.</p><p>“Kit, shh hey, hey babe. You’ve gotta calm down, you’re going to wear yourself out or make yourself puke,” Louis quickly placed himself on his knees next to Kitten's head on the couch but so he was just a touch above her, allowing him to push her hair off her face. “You are also going to give yourself a black eye if you keep throwing your cast at it like that everytime you cry darlin’,” She just sobbed and flipped him of. “Suppose I deserved that one,” He hummed leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.</p><p>“Niall where are you going and again where is Harry?”</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Niall where are you going and again where is Harry?” Gemma asked and Kitten pushed Louis’ and her own hands away from her face shooting into a sitting position looking at Niall, fear and now a slight burning in her midsection for sitting up so fast. A slight dizziness settling in the back of her head. He was going to leave her to? They were all going to leave her, the thought was getting louder and louder. The blonde whipped around hearing the heaving coming from her and was sitting next to her on the couch before she could get out his name.</p><p>“I’m not leaving you, shhh,” Niall frowned as he gently tried to ease her back into a laying position but she was having none of it holding herself tense even with his arm around her rubbing at her upper arm and the other trying to brush the tears off her cheeks. “Kit,god dammit,” He hissed more at himself then at the distraught girl. Sophia and Gemma both reached over and slapped him upside the head. Which was probably a completely appropriate reaction to his hissing. “Baby girl,” it’d been a long time since anyone but Harry had called her that. At least it drew her attention away from the screaming in her head. “I’m not leaving you, I’m not going to leave this room and not come back. I’m going to go look for your fucktart of a husband and force him to be a man and be with you where you need him,” She looked at him the screaming slowly turning to a whisper in her head.</p><p>“No,” She slurred out, trying to focus on calming down and not breaking down again. “I want him,” she hiccuped. “To come back on his own. To come back because he wants to, not because someone makes him,” She let out a sob. “I don’t want anyone to force him to love me through this, I want him to do it on his own and if he can’t then he can’t. I said the day I got here I understood if someone couldn’t handle it, understood if he wanted to leave me. It just took him awhile to realize that was what he wanted,” She shook her head the words breaking her heart even further, she barely heard the words leaving the lips of those around her.</p><p>Suddenly she couldn’t breathe and she was drawing in air much to fast. Niall was talking loudly to her but everything was going fuzzy and turning into static in her head. She was hyperventilating, unable to calm herself around the physical pain it caused to know that her husband had walked out and could possibly not ever return. Even if he did he could walk right back out only coming back to get her wedding ring from her and give her divorce papers. It was too much too soon and rapidly everything around her went black and relaxed.</p><p>“Kitten!” Liam was frantic as they watched on, her body heaving for air that she could have if she’d just relax and she couldn’t. It was like the ability to breathe had been sucked out of her, they watched in a mix of horror and relief as she passed out. KNowing that now at least she’d go back to breathing and possibly sleep for a little while. They’d worry about getting medication into her later. Niall moved off the couch allowing Louis to slip over to where he’d been sitting and lay Kitten down so her head was in his lap.</p><p>“Ok I’m going to ask this again, for a third time and if someone doesn’t answer me my promise to neuter someone will no longer just be a threat,” Gemma was on the edge of furious and pancked because there was no way Harry would just willingly walk away from Kitten, at least she’d thought there wasn’t.</p><p>“Don’t know,” Louis spat trying to calm his own anger combing his fingers through Kitten’s hair reassuring himself that she was alright.</p><p>“What do you /mean/ you /don’t know/!” Sophia rose a slight eyebrow because Gemma sound like she was on the edge of the hysterics they’d just calmed Kitten down from.</p><p>“Gemma chill,”Niall was a bit firmer than he’d meant to be receiving the middle finger and a glare as she opened her mouth to fight with him. “He’s fine, I know you’re worried something terrible happened that pulled him away from Kitten. Some awful horror story that tore him away from his broken wife when she needed him the most. Because He couldn’t possibly have just left her on her own with this,” she was still glaring not completely understanding. “Am I wrong?”</p><p>“No, but don’t be smug about it alright. I just need to know what’s going on, she’s as much family to me as she is to you all,” Gemma was begging slightly and Sophia felt a little pang of hurt realizing that it’d probably hurt Gemma almost as much as it hurt Kiten to hear what her brother had done.</p><p>“I wish I could say something horrible happened to him,” Louis let out a bitter laugh. Gemma looked at him like he’d grown another head and like she might possibly swing on him. He simply rolled his eyes. “You’re brothers already hit me so, I don’t need another Styles fist to the face,” he grunted and her eyes grew wide.</p><p>“Harry hit you?” They all wished they weren’t having this discussion. No one wanted to be the one to break it to her that Harry had let them all down but especially Kitten.</p><p>“Mhm, was trying to grab him and force him to stop and listen to me before storming out of the hospital in a storm of whatever he was feeling,” Louis shook his head, angry tears welling up in his eyes.</p><p>“Why was he storming out of the hospital? Did he and Kitten fight? They couldn’t possibly have fought, I’m sure he misunderstood something,” She was pleading for anything at this point and they all clenched their hands a bit. Even that would have been better than what had actually happened.</p><p>“No misunderstanding,” Sophia figured it might sound best coming from her. “Harry asked Kitten where her body guard had been during the attack, she pressed him to drop the question, afraid to answer it,”Her chest hurt from all of this. “When she answered him we all kind of stood in shock and Harry stumbled out a few words and flew from the room so fast there was a figurative puff of smoke where ‘d been standing,” Liam rubbed he thigh lightly doing his best to comfort her.</p><p>“What could she possibly have said that had him fleeing from the hospital room when she needed him?Clearly needed him and was afraid he’d do something stupid when she answered, nothing should have made him flee and what does she mean she told you guys she’d understand if you didn’t want her any more when she showed up? that she’d understand if Harry wanted to leave her?” There were alot of questions in that to answer and again Sophia had to step up.</p><p>“To question one, she told him the truth. She told him in had been an inside job, that Dillon, Blake, and Derrick, all the security Harry had currently protecting her from threats, It was their daughters. It was a planned attack, not some random fan girls that just were rabid Larry fans trying to get her out of the way. These were security guards daughters. It was planned before time an dillon let his girls out of the car and drove away leaving them to do as they pleased to her,” Gemma was pretty sure she was going to be sick.</p><p>“I still,” she paused swallowing around the bile rising in her throat in pain for Kitten. “Don’t understand why he’d run from the room? She needs him right now! She needs him now more than ever! I don’t understand!”Sophia sighed and moved off Liam’s lap and slid next to Gemma wrapping her arm around her. “what did she mean when she said she’d understand if you lot and Harry wanted to nothing to do with her and it just took Harry awhile to realize it?” She didn’t want the answer but at the same time she needed it.</p><p>“When I picked her up she was scared to death of seeing the boys. Scared Louis and Harry would never be able to look at her again especially with Larry cut into both her arms,” Gemma gasped out a soft cry. Apparently she hadn’t been aware of the words, something Harry had forgotten to mention. “When we were talking she told me she was terrified Harry wasn’t going to love her any more, that he’d leave her because these were scars that weren't going to ever heal and go away. They’d always be there. I made her a promise outside that backstage room before I ever opened the door, I wasn’t going to leave her because someone hurt her. I wasn’t going to let the guys hurt her either,”</p><p>“She’s quiet frightening when she wants to be,” Louis mentioned and Sophia glared at him and he immediatly shut up.</p><p>“She told them pretty much all in one breath, I had to help her get it out poor thing was so scared,”Louis shook his head remembering his own over reaction that probably didn’t help. “She told Harry that she’d understand if he didn’t want her any more, if he couldn’t stand the thought of looking at her with those words on her. She’d understand if it was too much and he didn’t want her any more. She told the other guys, mainly Louis that she’d understand if he needed to walk away and never look at her again, she wouldn’t hold it against them,” Sophia could feel her own tears start to fall as she rubbed Gemma’s back who was now openly crying.</p><p>“That girl,” Niall sighed looking at Kitten then to Gemma. “Just wants to make sure everyone's comfortable. Willing to sacrifice anything to make Harry happy.None of us even had a fleeting thought about walking away from her. No matter what the cuts said, it wasn’t her fault. We couldn’t and wouldn’t ever hold that against her,” he shook his head pinching the bridge of his nose.</p><p>“We’ve all been working around the clock to take care of her, make sure she knows we aren’t going to leave her. Being careful with how we react to things in front of her, not wanting to add to her wrongly placed guilt and blame. She’s been so scared that everyone is one hair's breath from just up and leaving her because of all this,” Liam gripped his thighs like that was going to expel the anger he felt at Harry for doing this. “She needed us to prove to her that we weren’t going to change how we felt about her, prove that we loved her no matter what,” he laughed bringing a fist up to rub at his eyes so angry his own eyes were watering.</p><p>“And Harry has just gone and done exactly what she was afraid of,” Louis spoke up quietly stroking his fingertips over the sleeping (passed out) girl’s cheeks. “That’s what she was saying as she passed out. That it’d just taken him awhile to realize he didn’t want her, he’s gone and broken her even further. Her own husband walking out on her because he can’t handle himself, can’t show his feelings to his own fucking wife who needs him more than air right now,”Louis hissed.</p><p>“My poor baby,” Gemma cried looking at Kitten. “Everything she’s gone through with Harry, everything in her life, the abuse the anger, the hate, the tragedy, and this, this is what he chooses to abandon her on,”She sniffled rubbing her hand under her nose, her eyes suddenly flaring with anger. “That little son of a bitch,” she growled and Sophia let out a soft laugh and shook her head because yeah, that was pretty much what all of them were thinking.</p><p>“I’m going to go find him, I’m going to kill him, and I’m going to drag his stupid fucking body back here so she can kill him again,” Niall move from where he’d been standing picking up his phone and texting security that he needed a car and a guard and some one to track Dale’s phone. They were a big company he was sure they could do that.</p><p>“How do you plan on finding him Niall, he doesn’t have his phone and Dale is as loyal to him as Paddy is to Liam and Preston is to me?”Louis question Niall shrugged stuffing his phone in his pocket.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter, I will find him. If I don’t find him tonight, I’ll go back out tomorrow and the next day until I find his pathetic ass and beat some sense into him,” Niall wasn’t kidding and Liam didn’t think for a second Niall wouldn’t put Harry in his place for this.</p><p>“Not without me you’re not,”</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Not without me you’re not,” Gemma stood up grabbing her own phone and dialing up her mother, when in doubt call mommy. “He can hide from all of you and maybe even me but he can’t hide from mum, let get going Niall. I’d like to be back before she wakes up if at all possible,” Sophia watched in a bit of shock as Gemma held the phone to her ear knowing how late it was in the UK but also knowing her mother would be up.</p><p>“If she does wake up before we get back, one she needs pain meds immediately, two call me. I don’t want her freaking out again. I’ll talk to her and we’ll come right back if she starts to stress,” Sophia simply nodded, there was no stopping them and she prayed for Harry’s sake that he wasn’t going to be easy to find so that Niall had some time to burn off his anger before finding him.</p><p>“Let’s move,” Gemma mouthed as her mother picked up the phone asking immediately what was wrong. “Mum, Harry’s decided to pull a disappearing act. Mind Aiding Niall and I in tracking him down.There was a slight pause.</p><p>“What do you mean Harry’s disappeared?! Has something happened to him?!” her mother practically sobbed over the phone and Gemma cringed as her and Niall stepped out of the hotel room heading to the car.</p><p>“No mum, nothing happened to him. Kitten gave him some information that he asked for about the attack and apparently he took off like a bat out of hell from the hospital leaving the rest of them to get Kitten discharged and back here to the hotel,” She explained her and Niall walking at such a fast pace it was almost a bit hard to keep up with. They were on a mission though, to find and bring Harry back, his job was to be with his wife not out running about in his own rage. Making his wife feel unwanted and unloved , Gemma was going to murder him when she found him. That was if she beat Niall to him and Harry better pray that she finds him first becauSe Gemma didn’t think she’d ever seen Niall this angry.</p><p>“He just ran out on her?!” His mother couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She raised her boy better than that, especially to just up and leave before she’d even been discharged? There was no way to treat your very scared and sick wife. That was absolutely no way to treat a woman, especially your wife.</p><p>“Yeah, Niall and I are headed to find him. We only have a few hours though, we’ve got to get back before Kitten wakes up or she’ll think we’ve left her too,” the pained gasp that left her mother's mouth was absolutely something Gemma could relate to at this point hurting for Kitten mostly and a little bit because they were let down by Harry. He hasn’t held up his promise.</p><p>“Alright, does he have his phone on him or do I need to call Dale directly?” Niall’s shoulders seemed to drop a little at Anne’s promise to help them as much as she could. Simply by asking who to call she was helping.</p><p>“No, doesn’t have his phone. Threw it at Louis after punching him in the face for trying to stop him from leaving,” Niall grunted and Gema flinched, she’d seen the bruise on Louis’s face she hadn’t known it was from her own brother. It made sense to her, she’d seen Harry get that angry a few times before always and only when it came to Kitten’s protection. Never had she seen him throw punches at his friends because /he/ was angry for himself. It wasn’t right, or fair for him to be behaving in this manner.</p><p>“Uh, no apparently he doesn’t have his phone,” Gemma repeated obviously leaving out the punching Louis in the face part. Her mother didn’t need to die of a heart attack from her sons harsh behaviors at the moment.</p><p>“Ok, I’m going to call Dale. I’ll see what I can get out of him, I can’t guarantee he’s going to tell me anything other than he’s safe. I’ll try though, for Kitten. Do have her call me when you get a chance, just because Harry has….”She could feel the tightness that was probably radiating around in her mother's chest. “Decided to make this about him, I want her to know I still love her.” Gemma let out a soft laugh nodding her head.</p><p>“Absolutely mum, when we get her coherent enough to make a phone call we will have her call you. If you get any information out of Harry, text it to us or Preston he’s working with us. I love you mum,” Her mother said to her ``I love you's and goodbye's'' and Gemma turned to Preston who was now in the driver's seat.</p><p>“We are going to go check the type of places he usually goes to in a huff. We will find him Niall,” Preston’s voice was hard and almost as angry as she’d heard Niall’s be earlier. Well, Preston had kind of taken Kitten in as a daughter more than any of the other security, no one really knew why or /how/ it’d happened or even when they’d gotten so tight but they were. It was good for Kitten to have someone like Preston acting like a father figure since he’s abandoned her long before now.</p><p>“He has Dale with him, he’s pissed about this being an inside job. What happened to Kitten,” Niall explained and as they were peeling out of the parking garage Preston held his hand up.</p><p>“I know, I know all about it being an inside thing,” Niall just about went at Prestons throat before the bodyguard could explain. “ Clearly I didn’t know it was an inside thing before it happened to Niall so chill,” He warned. “I found out in a meeting I was holding with the guards the other day, briefing them on security changes. The three of them Derrick, Blake, and Dillon were sitting together and not paying much attention,” he shook his head. “I had Paul pull their conversation off their phones,”</p><p>“You can do that?” Gemma looked like her eyes might pop out of her head. Apparently Security really could do whatever they wanted.</p><p>“We pulled all the guard’s phone records and text conversations at random intervals. It’s part of their security contract, they had the gall to sit in that meeting and talk about how proud of their little girls they were. And how Kitten better watch out because they weren’t finished yet,” He grit out. “I’ve been working on it since the meeting, contacted the lawyers we’ve already got working with Kitten’s case. Sent the texts there is a restraining order on them for being any where near Kitten or Harry, I’m working as fast and as hard as I can to take them down,”The blonde scrubbed a hand across her face.</p><p>“Good, just…”Niall shook his head. “Just good,I don’t know what’s going on in Harry’s head or who the hell he thinks he is to just leave like that, She didn’t want to tell us. She was afraid of Harry’s reaction apparently she was justified in her fear. I’m so fucking pissed,” He grunted.</p><p>“We’ll find him Niall,” Gemma and promised at the same time and Niall shook his head and gave a strange twisted smile.</p><p>“I’m not worried about finding him, I know we will,” a confused look from Gemma just made him roll his eyes and look out the window. “Kit’s right, we can’t force him to be there if he doesn’t want to be. He could really be done with her, with all of us because Kitten gave him information he asked for. She’s not wrong in being afraid that he doesn’t want her any more, him punching Louis in the face isn’t a comforting fact. It just backs up what Kitten’s trying to hard to be okay with, that she’s too much to handle because of this,” Niall shook his head his fist hitting the window in anger and pain for his friend.</p><p>“If that’s the case when we find him Niall,” Gemma started softly reaching and setting a hand on the bandmates leg. “Then you and I will figure it out, if that’s what he says that he’s done doesn’t want her any more. We will get his things and we will ship them out, so she doesn’t have to break all over again,” That wasn’t completely comforting it but it would be best that way, to keep the break simple and clean to try and keep it as minimal as possible.</p><p>“And then He’ll have a restraining order taken out against him as well, I won’t have him around her,” Preston's voice was gruff as they pulled into their first checkpoint, a park on the edge of the town. Niall and Gemma both looked at him somewhat in shock at him. “My loyalty lies with her before it lies with him. She will always come before him. I know I'm paid to secure Harry but if he leaves I’m no longer obligated to care what happens to him and at that point I won’t. He hurt my daughter,” He growled getting out of the car and Niall shook his head at least Preston was firmly on their side even if Kitten wasn’t really his daughter.</p><p>Back at the hotel Kitten had slept for about another two or so hours after Gemma and Niall had left and when she’d woken up to find them missing. It wasn’t a punch to the gut because her fuzzy brain could recall Niall’s promise that he wasn’t going to leave her, just going to find Harry. Though she wasn’t sure she wanted Harry to be found. She wasn’t really sure she wanted anyone going out of their way to bring him back when that was clearly not what he wanted. Louis wouldn’t move at all or let her move for much more than going to the bathroom. insisting she needed the rest, that her body needed to rest and try to relax.</p><p>“Louis, My husband has completely abandoned me and you are convinced I need to rest. Resting isn’t going to happen,” She argued at one point propping herself up so she was sitting on the couch. Maybe she could just channel what very little energy she had left into being angry instead of hurt. “Gimmie my phone,”</p><p>“He doesn’t have his, love,” Sophia frowned slipping Kitten’s cell phone into her hand. Kitten didn’t respond she knew Harry didn’t have his cell phone. It was sitting two feet from the end of the couch on the desk in the hotel room. She could see it from where she was sitting, she wasn’t stupid. A bit drugged and sluggish (having been fed her pain meds as soon as she woke up) but she hadn’t become stupid in the process. She knew what was happening, it didn’t hurt any less than it did earlier but she had less energy to give it right now. Meaning that her emotions were clipped and trying to form into an anger, a protective kind of shell to keep the hurt out.</p><p>“I know,” She grumped taking her phone into her hands she began to go through it. First through her instagram changing the passwords and locking it down completely, then to her facebook locking that up as well. She skimmed through her emails making sure there was nothing important in there and then through her contacts her fingers scrolling through the screen. There had to be someone that would help her, they said Gemma and Niall would call when they were on their way back unless she was too upset and she needed them home right away. She didn’t. But she wasn’t prepared for her phone to start ringing and a picture of Dale Harry’s security guard to pop up on her screen. She answered it before anyone could tell her not to, “Hello?”</p><p>“Look,” It was Harry, she pulled the phone away from her ear looking at it like it’d just burned her. IT kind of felt like it had burned her, hearing his voice on the other end. Louis, Liam and Sophia looked concerned because she had yet to reveal who was on the other end. “They aren’t going to find me, I’m not even in the same state any more,”</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ok,” she kept her voice even as to not give away who she was talking to, Didn’t need them ruining what could be her last contact with Harry as his wife.</p><p>“I know,” He sounded out of breath but Kitten couldn’t care the pain stinging around the edges again. “I can’t, I can’t explain it right now. I just can’t? It’s not you, I just.. I need time away from all of it. I need some time to put my head back together before I can support you again, I have to make sure I can come back and support you like you need or not come back at all,”</p><p>“All or nothing I suppose,” It hurt more than she’d ever let on that he was talking like this was the easiest choice he’d ever make. She couldn’t help but bitterly think ‘I wish I could take time away from it to collect myself’ the sneer on her face for long enough for Liam to see but not say anything to any one else.</p><p>“Kit,” He sounded like he might be begging her because she wasn’t giving him anything. “I love you, you have to understand,” Yeah, he was begging.</p><p>“I don’t have to understand anything,” She snapped standing up and looking at Liam and pointing towards the bathroom. Liam was up on his feet before anyone else could move helping her towards the bathroom. She stepped inside sitting down on the toilet and motioning for Liam to come in and lock the door so it was just her and him in there. She’d chosen him because she knew he’d never take the phone from her, wouldn’t shout over her he’d just stand there to catch her if she needed.</p><p>“You aren’t being fair Kit, you said in the beginning you’d understand if it was too much! I’m not saying I’m walking out on you! I’m saying I need a break to figure out what I’m doing! I need some time to put it all in place I need to be out of it to think clearly,” He was crying on the other end of the phone but Kitten didn’t have it in her to even try to comfort him.</p><p>“I would have,” she paused looking to Liam for a moment making sure he wasn’t going to move towards her. “Understood that is, would have let you walk away right then but you insisted you wanted to ride it out with me. Excuse me for not being able to completely understand why my husband is now in another state while I fight demons /alone/ away from the one person who has been through /everything/ with me.” Liam looked pissed but didn’t move, hearing confirmation of who it was on the other end having him balling up his fists at his sides but not moving towards Kitten. Clearly she was trusting him with this.</p><p>“Baby,” He sniffled and she let out a bitter laugh she could feel the tears starting again. She wasn’t going to cry or yell, she couldn’t not any more. Her body throbbed and suddenly everything wasn’t feeling worth it any more. Why fight anything if she loses everything in the process?</p><p>“No, you don't get to baby me. You promised me. You vowed on our wedding day, you’ve promised me since the day I arrived with these cuts. ‘nothing could change the way I feel about you’” She quoted angrily though it sounded a bit weaker than she’d wanted. “You lied, you’ve lied about all of it because if that was the case you would be here in this hotel room with me being the one to help me to the bathroom or get me my milkshake. Or hold my head when it hurts and I can’t stop crying,”</p><p>“I didn’t lie, I didn’t say I changed the way I felt about you. I still love you!” He argued and Liam wanted to punch a hole in the wall able to hear a bit of the conversation asa Harry rose his voice.</p><p>“you’ve got a lovely way of showing that don’t you?” Liam would be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit proud of the harsh sarcasm in her tone.</p><p>“Baby, I will always love you, I just Need a break from all of it to figure out how to function with it or if I’m the right person to help you through it. Love doesn't fix what’s happened,” She let out a harsh laugh throwing the toilet paper roll across the bathroom floor with a pathetic force.</p><p>“You’re right Harry, Love doesn’t fix what’s happened. It’s not going to take the scars off my body or the memory of six girls on top of me, calling me every name in the book as they tell me how much better off you’d be without me,” Liam wanted to reach out but was afraid of startling her as her head fell to look at her lap. “Thanks for proving them Righ Haz, you know how many times they told me you’d never want me again after this, they’d make sure you’d never be able to stand the sight of me or possibly love me enough to fight the PTSD and scars with me,” Liam was offically going to strangle some one. “Thanks for proving them right,”</p><p>“That’s not fair, I said i need a fucking break Kit! Don’t hold it over my head what they said,” And that was when Kitten broke and the dam began to flood.</p><p>“/You/ need a break. YOU need a goddamn break. fucking lovely Harry do you /know/ what i’d give to get a fucking break but no you're fucking right I don’t have to hold it over your fucking head because you’d have to still be here for me to do that!” She screamed Liam winced because he could feel Sophia and Louis both outside the door pushing and trying to break the lock. “You enjoy your break Harry, but don’t be surprised if I’m not alive for you to come back to,” she spat hanging up the phone throwing it into the bathtub and trying to draw her knees up to her chest only to be met with scorching pain.</p><p>“LIAM IF YOU DON’T LET US IN THIS SECOND I WILL NEVER SLEEP WITH YOU AGAIN,” Sophia was shouting and Liam almost cracked a smile but Kitten’s clear discomfort and pain erased anything funny about that threat at all.</p><p>“s’fine Liam. You can let them in. Thank you,” she closed her eyes facing her lap and gripping the toilet seat until her knuckles were white. There were tears falling into her lap creating a small wet spot on the joggers she was wearing and Liam needed to do one more thing before he let them in.</p><p>“You’re wrong,” His voice was soft and her eyes snapped to him like she was ready to scream again. He gently set his hand on her face. “You’ll be alive for him to come back to but you may not be around for him to come back to,” Her eyes softened as he rubbed her cheek lightly brushing some tears from her cheek as they fell. “ I don’t know what’s going through your head or how much pain you must be in mentally, emotionally, physically but I’m not going to let this kill you,” She closed her eyes and hung her head again.</p><p>“Haven’t you ever heard of the other spouse dying of a broken heart after their loved one passes?” LIam’s heart clenched at the idea of Kitten dying at all and she could feel the way he paused for a moment and tensed. She felt a tiny bit guilty.</p><p>“I have,” He paused like he might be choosing his words carefully over the yelling on the other side of the bathroom door. “I’m not going to let that happen, I’m not going to let you be alone. none of us are going to let you be alone in this and absolutely none of us are going to let this kill you and we aren’t going to let you kill you either. Harry or no Harry, you are one of the most amazing and strongest people I’ve ever met in my life, you don’t destroy easily. You aren’t going to sit back and watch as things fall apart and kill you slowly, you are going to fight tooth and nail like you already are,” everything just hurt.</p><p>“If I would have known, I was going to wake up and he was going to leave because of this,” she paused opening her eyes to look at Liam a pleading pain behind them. “I wouldn’t have woken up at all. I wouldn’t have fought so hard, I figured he deserved that much, but I would have rathered died knowing he loved me and was willing to fight than to live and known he ‘loves’ me but doesn’t think ‘love is enough’ to fix this,” she quoted and Liam shook his head</p><p>“No, you fought because you love Sophia and she needs you like you need her and Gemma, anne, Louis, I and Niall love you. More than anything in this world and you knew that we needed you to fight. me mum would be devastated if you died, go mental, so would Johanna and Evie, bobby and good lord you know Preston would kill everyone in his path including your husband. You didn’t just fight for him, you fought and continue to fight because so many people love you, so many people will always be there to hold you. You fight because we know you’re worth it and that’s enough for you to not want to disappoint us by giving up,” She felt like Liam could see inside of her, see right through her. Like he knew her inside and out which at this point he might, but never had anyone called her out on doing that kind of thing. It was true though. She fought because people believed in her even if she didn’t herself.</p><p>“What,” She sucked in a tight breath because she didn’t want to sob again and black out because she couldn’t control herself. “What if he comes back? or when he comes back? What if he doesn’t want to leave me, really just needed time to clear his head? What if he comes back and doesn’t want me. Comes back for his stuff and divorce papers Li?” a soft cry fell from her lips and he reached up brushing her hair away from her face and tilting her chin to look at him again.</p><p>“Then we deal with that then,” She squinted at him through her tears. “And When I say /we/ I mean all of us from Preston to Johanna to Anne to Sophia to Louis and Niall. All of us. Not just you,” She reached out to him putting her arms around his neck and it hurt like fuck but she needed the comfort.</p><p>“Hug me Li, please? No one has hugged me in weeks and I don’t care that it hurts just hug me,” She begged and Liam gently lifted her into a standing position and put his arms around her allowing her to press herself against his front even if it caused her pain. This was what she needed and he’d do that for her. The door slammed open then Louis and Sophia looking somewhere between wild and proud of themselves. Liam didn’t bother to give them much of his attention holding Kitten the best he could.</p>
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